SYMBOLIC FEMINIST GESTURE "MOVES OUR CULTURE CLOSER TO THE PRECIPICE"

Feminists are often chastised for placing too much emphasis on questions of symbolism, such as the patriarchal tradition that a woman take her husband's name upon marriage.  But apparently ending that tradition is a really big deal, as the headline of this post indicates:

Opponents of Biblical Patriarchy Move Our Culture Closer to the Precipice: Now Men take their Wives' Names after Marriage

Who knew we feminist minded women and the men who love us could be so powerful?  The headline refers to this story from USA today, excerpted as follows:

As Donna and Mike entered their wedding reception, an unwitting announcer told the expectant crowd, "Ladies and gentleman, put your hands together for the new Mr. and Mrs. Salinger!"

Some guests clapped, some chuckled at what they presumed was a joke and most looked at one another in confusion. The couple spent the entire reception and some of their honeymoon explaining to people what they had done.

The groom, you see, had started his day as Mike Davis and ended it by doing something precious few of his brothers-in-arms do: He took his wife's last name instead of her taking his.

Not all men who take their wives' names necessarily act from a purely feminist motivation.  The article notes that Michael Buday, who is suing California to make it just as easy for a man to change his name upon marriage as for a woman, plans to adopt his wife's surname "to show his affinity for his father-in-law."  But Mike Salinger did it "because I'm a big ole granola liberal and I wanted to tweak the tradition while showing my wife I love her."  Say it with me together now: AWWWWW :)  I was heartened that the comments thread below the article contained a number of entries by men who had made the same choice. 

Right now, it is all but taken for granted that a married woman will become Mrs. Husband.  A lot of even feminist minded women will go with the husband's name because it sounds better or because they want to be identifiable as a family unit or because they want to have the same last name as their children (the patriarchal naming tradition for children being far too strong for most people to fight).  These are all great reasons except for the fact that it is a one-way street. Men generally don't change their last names because they like the way their wife's name sounds or for any other reason.  As things stand now, name changing is always a concession the wife makes to patriarchal tradition.  I fantasize about some day in the future, when name changing is a gender neutral act freeing couples to make that decision based on whose name they like better (or other factors) without seeming to support women's second class status even symbolically.    

Naturally, the Ladies Against Feminism are ready to view anything and everything as more important than women's equality.  In this case, the Ladies opine that tweaking patriarchal naming traditions will harm our descendents' ability to trace their geneology.  (Of course, don't we already record name changes with our marriage certificates and people's maiden names on birth certificates? So how hard will it really be?)  Also, does it never disturb anyone that it is virtually impossible to track down long lost living female friends because they are rendered invisible on Google by virtue of changing their names?   

Comments

[dsi]

I presented my views on a subject that has rattled the peace of governments, as well as people, across India, through large parts of the departing year. Since we are nowhere close to a solution it threatens to corner our attention in the forthcoming year too.

[iedge karte]

This is very true. The tradition have came along, that after marriage women have to change their surnames and have to accept their husband's surname. This is tradition which is followed by everyone.

[kl]

The trend is changing, at least in Europe. Of my college friends, several have taken common name that was either from earlier generations (we chose my husband's grandmother's maiden name, it contained some of his history and was close enough to mine so that I did not even need to change my signature) or made up. At least three couples chose to take wife's name. Most couples, though, seem to keep their own names these days. By Finnish law, if parents in this situation can't agree on kid's last name, mother's last name "wins". From what I see it's pretty much 50-50.

This is true in educated around-thirties couples in the field of technology. Geek guys seem to be often ahead in many trends, such as ignoring the "this is how it's always been done" in favor of cooperation and truly considering what the options are. (In Finland, the whole concept of taking husband's name started around 1930 with a new name law that was overturned 50 years later. So let's forget about that "always" part.)

[viagra online]

Things are fairly simple when you think about it: when your goal is excellent (and fast!) customer service, you focus on getting enough knowledgable staff to handle your busiest times and to keep the customers from having to wait. I

[jordan 1]

It is said that, some books are to be read only in parts, others to be read, but not seriously, and some few to be read wholly, and with diligence and attention.Your blog are worth for me to read attentive.