FEMINISM ISN'T ABOUT WHAT'S BEST FOR WOMEN

Shocked to hear me say that? Don't be.  Feminism doesn't guarantee a woman a date, or safety from harm, lifelong happiness, or greater health (although it has always been my opinion that being a feminist improves one's chances at all those things).  The purpose of feminism is equality of opportunity, freedom, and dignity for all women.  What a woman chooses to do with that equality is up to her.  And I trust women to make their own choices for what they want to do with their lives, even if their choices involve risks -- just as much as I trust a man to make an intelligent choice as to whether he wants to risk his health playing a sport like boxing or football.

That's why I am not unduly disturbed by a Swedish study (touted by anti-feminist commenters) purporting to show that women who take on stressful jobs traditionally held by men suffer health consequences for doing so. Of course, I have no idea how valid the study is. As a commenter at Feministing noted, the articles use terms like "associated with" and "strongly linked," which imply that the study found correlation rather than causation. It is also unclear the degree to which women in the workplace suffer greater health problems.  Is it a significant difference or a negligible difference? In addition, it should be noted that the conclusions one draws from the study may vary depending on your political outlook.  If you don't like the idea of feminism, you're bound to say that too much feminism is the problem.  If you are a feminist, you are bound to say that too little feminism is the problem -- if working women weren't expected to work "the second shift" at home, maybe they would have more time to eat right, exercise, and take some time to de-stress. 

Be all that as it may, I don't have much of a beef with the theory that a stressful job takes a toll on one's health and that therefore women taking on these jobs often experience resulting health problems.  As a litigator coping with long hours, constant deadlines, constant conflicts with others, and the stress of answering to bosses and judges and clients, I am certain that these stresses pose risks to my health that full-time homemaking would not.*  All around me, I see overweight lawyers, out-of-shape lawyers, alcoholic lawyers, and depressed or anxious lawyers -- many of whom are at risk for heart conditions, strokes, diabetes, liver problems, suicide and other dangers.  For the last 25 years, significant numbers of women have taken on the risks of stressful and often adversarial work traditionally borne overwhelmingly by men.

If I were inclined to a simplistic analysis (as are apparently the headline writers for the Daily Mail and the Guardian), I might conclude that "feminism" or the opportunity to pursue the same career as a man has been "bad" for me.  Wouldn't it be "best for women" if we didn't have these opportunities or chose not to take them?      

But under that kind of analysis, the same could be said for all sorts of decisions men make without question -- such as participating in extreme contact sports, joining the military, or working at a stressful job.  Or one could argue that it is "best for women" if female college students were given a curfew as in days of yore or allowed to travel in public only in the company of a male guardian, a practice discussed approvingly by at least one extremist.  I may indeed be safer traveling only with a male guardian (assuming he is himself trustworthy!) but at what cost? I may indeed experience less stress staying home full-time but at what cost? 

And that's thing.  Adults make cost-benefit decisions. When men do so, we don't question it.  A young man decides that the risk of broken bones, concussions, and the toll on his  body is worth it for the thrill of playing football!  (And oh, more young women are making that decision too these days!)  A young female college student decides that moving about freely at night is worth being less safe than she might if she just stayed in her dorm (as do young men who risk assault and accidents at greater rates than do young women)!  And people of both sexes embrace careers that take a toll on them so that they can earn a living for their families, do work that they love, and/or use their talents to benefit their community.  And women often make the decision to stay home full-time even at the risk of becoming economically vulnerable.**  But it's only women who are subjected to hand wringing about "what's best" for them -- because too many of us still can't get our minds around the notion that women are capable of making weighing risks and consequences decisions for ourselves.      

*Of course, anti-feminist policies and practices also often pose certain risks to the health of women and girls.  This link provides but one example. 

** I bet that someone is thinking, "Well, what a minute aren't you willing to criticize a woman's choice to stay home?" Ha ha! You caught me!  I DO think that there is a significant sacrifice to staying home that the press rarely discusses, frequently choosing instead to rhapsodize about the "opt out" revolution.  I also think there is massive hypocrisy in the way homemaking and the accompanying career sacrifices are often presented as the most wonderful thing in the world for women, but never as a wonderful opportunity for men.  I also think that it would be better for women as a class if MORE women would pursue ambitious careers in public life.  And finally, I think that there are societal circumstances that place more pressure on women to stay home than men. Nonetheless, I don't think it is inconsistent for me to say that I respect a woman's right and her ability to make her own cost-benefit decision to stay home based on her own preferences and the particular circumstances she faces. 

Comments

[Hunter]

Don't sweat it, Happy. Folks are already pointing out that Swedes have one of the longest life expectancies in the developed world, a fact that failed to make it into anti-feminist commentary.

[Mermade]

As you know, I am a relatively new feminist. I have only labeled myself as such for about a year. Before then, I believed that feminism and Christianity were like oil and water. I could either be one or the other. The mere word "feminism" represented everything I wasn't (a lace-wearing, future stay-at-home mom, Republican voting, true-love-waits advocate, among other things). Heck, my AP English research paper was titled "The Feminist Mistake." At the time, I thought women should be wary of pursuing a career if they wanted to be mothers. I used statistics similar to the Swedish study you cited. Ultimately, I justified my reasons for wanting to be a future stay-at-home-mom using a poor analysis of feminism. My definition of feminism was based little more on stereotypes. "I'm not a feminist! I want to be a stay-at-home mother someday!" (How hypocritical of me. I was also the editor in chief of my high school's newspaper and played sports. I think I was one of the most adamant feminists in my class without even realizing it).

When I took Hugo's Women in American Society class, I realized that feminism is not about making women happy. It says nothing about whether a woman should (or should not) have children. Nowhere is it written that women should have careers. So the study is right in one regard: feminism neither makes women happy nor unhappy. It is simply gives women the CHOICE to pursue whatever they want. And it acknowledges that different women make different choices. Nowhere does it say that those choices will make them happy. As a feminist, I believe it is my duty to respect all women for the choices they make. And as a feminist, I am thankful that I have the opportunity to decide what is best for me. As of now, I plan on teaching English at the community college level in addition to raising a family. I believe I can do both. Only I can make myself happy, but I am very thankful that the feminist movement backs me up.

[Annamal]

Mermade, my mum stayed at home with two kids until my little brother was 5, she used to read me Enid Blyton books while editing some of the worst of the sexism/racism out on the fly. Feminism + SAHM definitely possible.

She also never looked back once she hit the workforce (to the point where my family relocated for a year so that she could go to library school).

[Hel]

Yay! Happy's back on the blog train! I missed you.

Sorry, nothing else to add to the great post.

Welcome back.

[AndiF]

And it's not like being in less egalitarian country is good for women's life expectancy.

Sweden 82
United States 80
Saudi Arabia 74
Pakistan 63
Kenya 49
Afganistan 41

[Sarahndipity]

Although I’m not a feminist, I also thought this study was kind of dumb. It seemed like it said more about today’s insane work culture than feminism (though I do think feminism somewhat contributed to today’s work culture by glorifying work).

Like Happy said, everything we do in life involves risk. There’s evidence that having children, like working a management job, can also slightly shorten your lifespan (and as a mom, I believe it). I’m not saying no one should ever have children or pursue a career they love. I’d rather have a full, slightly shorter life than a dull, long one.

That being said, though, I think there’s an issue here that goes beyond feminism, that no one is really raising, and that’s that the culture of work in this day and age is insane. People almost have to work crazy hours just to get by.

I’m a working mother out of necessity who would love to stay home with my almost-3-year-old. When I first went back to work, I went from getting sick once or twice a year to once or twice a month. It’s easier now, but I think there’s something very wrong with a society that requires such things b/c the cost of living is so high. BTW, I don’t think my getting sick so much was because I’m a “weak woman,” but rather because human beings are just not meant to work 40+ hours a week while caring for a 3-month-old.

[Juti]

Women have never *not* worked. Women have always worked, whether in the home or anywhere else. Their work just hasn't been recognized as such. Working women only show up as "working" when they enter the traditionally masculine workforce.

So, when women think about "working or being a stay at home mother," the question really is, "what kind of work shall I engage in?" If anybody doesn't agree, I invite them to keep house full time. It's not easy, it's not fun, and it's essential to a healthy life.

My mother always insisted that her occupation be listed as "domestic engineer" rather than "none."

I chose to work outside of my home. I have friends who did not. We're all busy all of the time, we all have good lives, and we're all working.

[Chalicechick]

((it's essential to a healthy life.)))

Nobody keeps my house full time, and we survive.

CC

[mythago]

It is simply gives women the CHOICE to pursue whatever they want.

But it also questions the environment in which those choices are made, and asks WHY women make those choices.

[zhongliu]

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