Well, Linda Hirshman herself wrote a post belittling me, so I guess that makes me...what? I`m not quite sure.

You`ve always seemed pretty "happy" to me.

"I think you should replace your "Legal, Liberated and Loving It!" tagline with "appears quite normal in a breezy, bossy, humourless sort of way..." but only if it amuses you to do so!"

I agree with Ann's excellent idea. Of course, you probably will not do it because someone else came up with the idea and you have no sense of humor, you bossy, humourless, self-absorbed BIOTCH!!!!


oops. That last post was from me.


>>> Happy wrote: “… being called a mad, bad, and dangerous feminasty is such lovely validation.”

Oh, please. I hope you’re mostly kidding about this. I have such little respect for feminists who affect the bitch personae. They just appear silly to me, juvenile. You tried to explained once that the bitch personae is simply a way of mocking the “good girl” expectation, but there’s got to be a better way to get the point across than acting out a 12-year-old's fantasy. Shouldn’t grown women do away the put-on “personas” and just be themselves?

As for Duff, I think if he had read you more often before passing judgment, he would have discovered that it’s not your tendency to self-absorb. (I think I have some credibility on the issue as I'm not a habitual cheerleader here.) No more self-absorbed than any other attorney :)


I have such little respect for feminists who affect the bitch personae. They just appear silly to me, juvenile.

Would you have much more respect for feminists who shape their behavior so that they are pleasing and appear to be all grown up to you?

The Happy Feminist

Richard, I don't actually mind copping to being somewhat self-absorbed, some degree of self-absorption being an inevitable part of the human condition. But I very much appreciate your sentiments.

As for the bitch persona, I can't speak for folks like Bitch, Ph.D or Bitch Lab but I have always interpreted embrace of the "bitch" persona as an ironic take-off on a label that is often unjustly applied to opinionated, outspoken women. There's a double standard as to what constitutes appropriate female behavior versus appropriate male behavior. Certainly, there are women who actually ARE obnoxious but the b-word gets bandied around far too easily. So why not embrace it and say, hey, I AM a bitch, whaddya wanna make of it?

The Grouch

What the hell does "affecting the bitch personae [sic]" mean? Happy's not "affecting" anything. She's mocking an undeserved insult by embracing it, because if an idiot insults you then you should take it as a compliment. Which is precisely what Bitch Ph.D is doing.


also in response to richard's comment on "bitch":

the way i read happy's statement was something along the lines of, "whatever it is that women are like whom david deigns to deem 'feminicelies', i don't want to be that kind of a person. if a feminasty is the opposite of a duff-approved woman who takes misogyny with a laugh and doesn't think feminism has any work left, then yay for being a feminasty."

maybe i misinterpreted what happy was saying -- but on the other hand, it's exactly what *i* was thinking, and so i can say that i, indeed, would definitely prefer such a person think of me as a "feminasty" than as anything he could put his "appropriate" or "pleasant" stamp on.


Perhaps the adapting of the "bitch persona" or at least the accepting of the label is like the Yankee Doodle Dandy story..."yankee doodle" having been given as a derogatory nickname to the American soldiers during the Revolutionary War, which the Americans then embraced and made into a marching song. (Or so the legend goes) Sort of a, "You want to call me that? Okay, I'll call myself that," in a good humored way.

Also, I appreciated your post about NPD. We're going through all sorts of drama with my husband's family - his dad recently filed for divorce - and as we seek to help my father-in-law (the divorce seems to be a result of his own inability to cope with people in general...he is emotionally crippled, it seems) get the help he needs, NPD actually seems like a valid diagnosis of some of his problems. He also may be clinically depressed. We are trying to help him get professional counseling, which I think will make him a healthier person, regardless of what happens with the divorce. Anyway, all that to say, thanks for bringing NPD to our attention. It explains a lot.


The Great Feminist War was won long ago.

Since when? Since 10 months ago when I lost my job for having a baby?

This person feels threatened by you, Happy Feminist. I have read opinions I disagree with on your site (not necessarily your opinions) but I keep on reading because I am interested in other people's views. I am a Catholic and, because of personal beliefs, would not have an abortion, yet I appreciated the discussion you sparked on abortion. It made me see the many different aspects to this issue. Pregnancy and childbirth are very far from the sentimentalised ideal that society upholds and I believe more people need to understand this. Without discussion of this type, the world would stagnate.

Imagine, he even tries to divide feminists into stereotypes - has he no inkling what feminism is about?! At least you didn't get pigeonholed as a "feminicely", that would have been cause for offence.

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