Your wonderful post made me think of my wedding (three loooong years ago!). My wedding was very similar to yours (simple, self financed, enjoyed by all (from what I hear)). I often end up thinking of the things that went wrong (the DJ that ran off to another state at the last minute, the crying baby during the vows, the bridesmaid I was forced to have) but it really was a beautiful day that I'll always treasure. I'd never thought about it before, but I guess I had a feminist wedding just by being a feminist having a wedding. The vows were a mixture of religious and civil, I didn't change my name, we weren't introduced as husband and wife, etc. It's really funnier to talk about the things that went wrong, but in reality it was a wonderful experience. Like you, I've never been into the princess, fairy tale wedding thing, but I'll admit that I looked freakin' fabulous. I found a dress I loved and the biggest tiara ever seen east of Texas. I've never wanted to be a princess, but with that tiara on my head, I was ready to be Queen!
(I still wear that tiara around the house. I find that it acts as a combined hairband/thinking cap when I'm trying to write motions and briefs.)


Hi Happy!

(Just back from a family reunion in England.)

What a beautiful story. Thanks for sharing.


What a fun story! I actually have wondered sometimes (as you suggested) what a "feminist" wedding would look like. (Did you mean to write "Wife and husband" rather than "husband and wife" for the ceremony part?)

Found you from Becky's Gray Cat, and I agree with her observations.

The Happy Feminist

Oops I meant "husband and wife" instead of "man and wife." I'll fix it at some point.


I promised my fiance I'd marry him in 2003. Here it is 2006 already. It's inspiring to hear other feminist wedding stories. Perhaps I will eventually go through with it.

The Happy Feminist

I have to admit that I am surprised by the comments to this thread. I worried that the post was focused too much on the less "lovely" aspects of weddings like the financial bottom line and conflicts with other people. Glad people liked it!


What a fun post to read.

Happy Anniversary! I wish for you to have many more. (o:

ps. I tried to leave this yesterday but it wouldn't let me...glad whatever was wrong is now fixed. (o:


A pity that "feminists" are the lowest form of life on this planet, that is after lawyers that rape "former married males" from all their own generated wealth and their children.

So ! when's the divorce ?

The Happy Feminist

Thank you for your kind wishes Christianj. XOXOXOXO

claire s

this was perfect timing for my 1st anniversary. we had a "typical unitarian" ceremony, very short, readings all picked by us the couple with a wee bit of guidance from the minister.

we got hitched 3 weeks before moving halfway across the country, so though we registered we ended up getting mostly money. which is a good thing for moving to NYC, much less bulky than dish sets.

one thing about my feminist wedding was seeing all the bullcrap that can go on with weddings and planning via message boards. i got a lot of good info from those, but i also saw some really interesting and often scary stuff. wedding culture is totally out there and for the most part anti-feminist. people who aren't so big into gender roles get SO into them for wedding purposes. i'd like to think i challenged a few assumptions of some of those ladies.

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