Someone expressed surprise in this thread at the fact that I have a secretary. Yes indeedy I do, and thank goodness for it. People often view having a secretary as a sort of luxury or status symbol. But in my job -- which is all about generating documents often to very particular specifications required by court rule -- a secretary is an absolute necessity. Just last week when I had my appellate brief due, my secretary put together the Table of Contents and Table of Authorities in a jiffy-- a project that used to involve blood, sweat, and tears of frustration when I wrote moot court briefs in law school sans secretary. Having a secretary is also necessary from an economic standpoint. The commodity I sell are the hours (billable hours) I spend on legal work for my clients. They pay me for my legal research, legal writing, legal analysis, and advocacy. But time spent organizing files, formatting documents, making appointments, and printing out envelopes is not billable. So if I do that stuff for myself when I could be doing something billable, my firm loses money.
The attorney-secretary relationship is, of course, a hierarchical one. The attorney decides what she wants the secretary to do for her. If I need something now, I can tell my secretary to drop whatever she is doing and take care of whatever I have determined to be the priority for the day. At the same time, however, the attorney is often very dependent on the secretary. This is especially true of older attorneys who do not themselves have word processing skills.
My mother was a professional secretary and my father had a secretary. I did secretarial work through college and beyond, and I now have a secretary of my own. She is my twelfth secretary in nine years -- not because I am driving them off (I hope) but because I’ve moved or they’ve moved or my employer has decided to shuffle people around.
I have determined that the key to a successful attorney-secretary relationship is empathy. That is, each participant in the relationship should be able to understand and respect the conditions under which the other person is operating. For example, the temptation may be to get frustrated with a secretary who is focusing on unimportant issues. But then I remember when I was a secretary and I didn’t necessarily know what was or was not important to my boss because I wasn’t in his position. It is up to me to convey to my secretary who is an important client, or what projects can be put on hold. On the secretary’s end, however, the ideal for me is a secretary who seems to care about getting things done right and who seems to want to help me. I want a secretary who tries to lighten my load, rather than adding to my load. I think the same principle applies in any hierarchical relationship. Thus, my job is to try to lighten the senior partner’s load while the associate below me or the secretary lightens my load.
Right now I have a secretary who actively tries to make my life easier and it is wonderful. Our relationship is all sweetness and light (unless she has complaints about me that I don’t know about). But gosh I have had a lot of secretaries who added to my stress:
Ms. I Got No Time For You It was really terrible when I had to share a secretary with a very senior partner. Not only that, but the secretary worked miles away on the floor above me. I had no physical proximity to my secretary. And she literally never did my work. She simply ignored my work and at the end of the day she would always say, “Sorry, I didn’t have time for that. I was busy all day for Senior Partner.” She wouldn’t even find another secretary to cover for her, thus forcing me to run all over the firm to beg other secretaries to do my work. But the worst were email exchanges like this:
Secretary: A fax came in for you.
Me: Great. Can you bring it down.
Secretary: No time.
Me: Then, please ask someone to bring it down.
Secretary: No can do.
Me: Can you at least tell me who it’s from?
Secretary: Don’t know.
This woman literally never did a lick of work for me. Finally (and this is the only time I’ve ever done this), I told a partner that my secretary didn’t seem to have time to do my work. To my firm’s credit, they immediately did another shuffle and I got a new secretary, and some poor sap right outta law school got stuck with Ms. I Got No Time For You.
Ms. Indiscreet Then there was the one at the D.A.’s office who just had no filter on what came out of her mouth. I would be on the phone with opposing counsel, and she would be in the background yelling, “I CAN’T FIND ANY #)!*#)!*)*!) WHITE OUT!” Or a member of the public would come in to report a crime and when I referred that person to Chief So-and-So, my secretary would say, “Yeah, lots of luck with that moron.” Or opposing counsel would call after the first day of trial and my secretary would tell her, “Wow, Happy seemed really frazzled after that first day of trial. What did you do to her?”
The Burden Shifter I told this one when she first started working for me that she should feel free to make any suggestions about how we could do things better. Boy, she took that to heart. But all of her suggestions were about how I could do more of her work for her. For example, I used to forward all of my email correspondence with clients and opposing counsel to her so that she could print it out and put it in the file. Her suggestion for improvement was, “It would be a lot easier if you could print out the emails at the end of the week, organize them alphabetically by case name, and then drop them into my filing bin.” All of her suggestions were like this.
The Meanie This one was just downright mean to me. She was a very good secretary and she would do my work but she always made it very clear that she didn’t WANT to do my work. The best was when she would yell at me for giving her typing back with corrections. “Why can’t you get it right the first time?” she would say, notwithstanding the fact that it was her typo and besides, I should have the opportunity to edit my work. The other fun time was when she flamed me. I used to give her drafts of electronic newsletters we used to send to our clients. Her job was to work with the IT department to get it formatted and have the hyperlinks inserted. Once I emailed her (politely as always) to ask if the newsletter was ready yet and I got a response back in all caps, “I’VE TOLD YOU BEFORE THAT JOE IN THE IT DEPT. DOES IT!!!!!!!!” Man, was I pissed. I don’t really care who does it, just freaking tell me whether it’s ready. Monitor this project for me so that I can get my trial memo done. And, if for some reason, there is a problem with you being able to do that, just tell me what the problem is in a civilized manner.
The Meanie also worked with a male colleague of mine and never gave him a bit of flak. Male Colleague was always convinced that the Meanie just didn’t like working for a woman. I don’t know if he was right or not, but I have to admit that it’s a possibility.
Ms. I Need You to Hold My Hand Oh, gosh. This one made me think twice about ever telling a secretary to feel free to ask me any questions. This one would bounce into my office constantly to ask questions. I once timed it and she literally came into my office with a question every ten minutes for an hour. Questions like, “Where are the yellow post-its kept?”
Male Colleague had a lot tougher time with her than with Meanie. He absolutely was ready to go off the deep end. But I decided to make her my special project, mainly because I was excited to have a secretary who wasn’t mean to me. So we would have little chats about how it’s more efficient to write down all your questions about a project and then ask them all at one time, how you might want to direct questions about the yellow post-its to the person most likely to know the answer (like another secretary as opposed to an attorney), and how you might want to think about how you could answer questions for yourself. (For example, you could figure out for yourself when the court clerk’s office closes by looking it up on line and you really don’t need me to figure out what size envelope to put the brief in.) She thought I was “the bomb” (her word) but she never really incorporated my suggestions fully and it always seemed like I had to walk her through every project step-by-step (left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot).
The No Show This is the one who lived a mile from the D.A.’s office but couldn’t make it in if there was even a minor snowfall, even though the rest of us would come in from an hour’s drive away. Once she wanted me to shut down the office because there was no running water for fifteen minutes. I was about to make the decision to do so, when the water came back on. She gave me the most evil look I have ever seen when I broke the news to her. It was really a scary look.
Ms. I Did It My Way Actually, I really liked this secretary. But she had this weird thing about Courier font. My department has a policy of using only Courier font for all our pleadings and briefs. I am not crazy about it but it is the preference of the guy who heads the department. Well, my secretary really hates Courier. So she just didn’t use it. So I had to send every single thing she typed for me back to have her change it to Courier. When you’re generating ten letters a day, this can get really annoying. Fortunately, she retired before I had a melt down on her.
A Mea Culpa and an Invitation Now I know I am probably a bad person for picking on the secretaries. I also know that it’s a two way street and that we attorneys drive them nuts as much as they drive us nuts. If you have any stories about particularly maddening secretaries or bosses, please feel free to share.
Have you ever had a male secretary?
Posted by: Sydney | May 31, 2006 at 11:02 AM
I had a male secretary once. He was excellent, but he just did temp assignments.
I have had a wide range of secretaries. It can be a difficult balance between being friendly and being their boss.
But a good secretary is worth her weight in gold.
Posted by: will | May 31, 2006 at 11:11 AM
Yes, sometimes lawyers can be difficult too, when you are the secretary. I never had one that was too bad, but funny things would happen sometimes...
Associate: I know you're not a lawyer, and don't play one on TV, but what would you do?
---
Summer Associate: What order should I put the check, the postcard, and all the other filings in before I mail them to the Patent and Trademark Office?
Me: It doesn't matter.
SA: Really? Are you sure?
Me: Yeah, I'm sure.
SA: (Goes off to ask a partner).
---
When a partner was trying to strong-arm me into hiring his buddy to do drawings for my attorney, even though we have an in-house draftsperson...
Partner: You got the email, about how you should hire X if you get the chance?
Me: Yes.
Partner: So why haven't you been sending work X's way?
Me: Well, I thought it was firm policy to use our inside draftsperson first.
Partner: Firm policy? Do you have a memo you can point to?
Me: Uh, no.
Me: So, is it firm policy to go to an outside draftsperson first when Y at the firm is available to do work?
Partner: Uh, no.
Me: Actually, today is my last day.
Partner: Oh, I guess it's a mute point.
Me (in head): Moot, you idiot, moot!
Posted by: Ismone | May 31, 2006 at 11:20 AM
Oh, those are classic, Ismone. Although I can kind of relate to the scared summer associate.
Sydney, I have never had a male secretary. There is one male secretary at this firm. Everyone always assumes he must be an attorney! I have also worked at two firms that had male receptionists. One was very good. The other, at a firm in London where I worked as a secretary after college, got fired after he told a client that the senior partner couldn't take his call "because he was in the Gents and he's been there for hours."
Posted by: The Happy Feminist | May 31, 2006 at 11:31 AM
My mother is a currently legal secretary at a major law firm. When I was a kid, she worked for a single lawyer in a small town. She has almost 30 years experience as a legal secretary.
It took her years to realize that between her experience, her skills, and her work ethic-- she was a damn good legal secretary.
What finally allowed to her come to this realization?
The lawyer she was working for who decided to get her attention while she was on the phone by throwing a pencil at her from the desk in his office. I kid you not.
She was mortified. She was insulted. She was speechless.
She came home in tears. My father, bless him, said, "Quit. Quit tommorrow. You deserve better and we can survive without the money if we have to."
She went in the next day and gave her notice to her supervising secretary.
The supervisor's eyes got really big and she asked why?
My mom explained why and the supervisors eyes got even wider.
She took my mom and walked into a senior partner's office and had her tell her story.
The senior partner got up from his desk, apologised to my mother, and then asked her which lawyer she wanted to work for.
The next day, my mom's former boss came to her new desk and formerly apologized.
The firm "let him go" the next month.
I think he got off easy.
Over the years, my mother has actually been fought over by various lawyers.
She now works three days a week--
and she still does more work than most other people in the pool do in five days.
Posted by: CDS | May 31, 2006 at 12:46 PM
Wow, it sounds like your mother's firm made the right decision. That guy is lucky he didn't get charged with assault.
When she was in her 50s, my mother worked as a secretary at an enormous major law firm in Washington D.C. Every morning in the elevator, one of the partners who didn't really know her would make small talk with her. One day, he asked her how long she had been practicing law and she told him she was a secretary. From then on, he completely ignored her.
Posted by: The Happy Feminist | May 31, 2006 at 01:02 PM
For what it's worth, my patent law firm does have an official opinion on how documents couriered to the PTO should be ordered. (Postcard on top, then ordered in the same order as they are listed on the postcard.)
So if Summer Associate had worked in another firm that did have a certain way they liked that done, his skepticism that your firm didn't have a preference is sort of understandable.
Posted by: Patent Assistant | May 31, 2006 at 01:45 PM
I worked as a secretary for a few months, as a favor to significant other. I had helped set up the office and was the only computer literate one of the four of us. Significant other was of the persuasion that the least important thing he was working on was more important than the most important thing anyone else was working on. Naturally he thought he was great to work with. Needless to say he was the only one who thought so. I hired a new secretary for them and put both significant other and the idea of ever being a secretary again behind me.
Posted by: thebewilderness | May 31, 2006 at 02:11 PM
At my first job in news, I was a production assistant at a TV news bureau in Tokyo, responsible for helping 3 producers and 2 correspondents as needed. I was pulled in five different directions every day, and it taught me a lot about how to manage people to motivate them to get the most work done. (I also got very good at sticking up for myself and covering my own ass.)
Once, years later, I had a "No-Show" boss: he would "work" from home a lot, but be off-line much of the time, while the 30 people he managed muddled through without him.
Posted by: L. | May 31, 2006 at 02:35 PM
No comments on the secretary thread, just a request. Please close out the underline tag!
Posted by: Allison | May 31, 2006 at 02:58 PM