h sofia

I can relate to this post. As I near 30 I wonder if I'm in denial because I don't *feel* 30. I just feel like a 26 year old who is by some weird miracle, having more birthdays. I look in the mirror and I don't see many changes between my face now and my face 8 years ago. If anything, I look a whole lot better now than I did when I was 20, when I was awkward and uncomfortable with myself.

I do hear the faint ticking of the biological clock. My SO is younger than I am and it's less on his mind than mine. We both want to pursue more higher education, so I'm not sure when in the next five to seven years I'd actually have time to give birth to a baby. We both believe wholeheartedly in adoption, so if we are together still we'd probably do that. Then, I wouldn't have to be a 40 year old with a 1 year old child (not a vision I'm embracing for myself), but perhaps a 40 year old with a 10 year old child.

The main feeling I have these days is one of less time alive, and not really so much as less time as a young person. Life becomes more and more exciting with the passing of every day - one day it will all be gone for me. I feel a little bit like little Meg in Little Women (played by Kirsten Dunst), when she frets to Teddy about her fear of dying unkissed. "I've waited my whole life to be kissed - and what if I miss it?" The teenaged Teddy (Christian Bale) reassures her, "I promise to kiss you before you die."

That always distracts me and makes me laugh. The things we worry about missing when we are young! And to someone who is my grandmother's age, you and I still are. Even my grandmother fusses still about things she has yet to do.

The Happy Feminist

I hear ya! My grandmother was 55 when I was born and still going strong!


Ah, I remember 35. Divorced for 2 years, raising my boys on my own, working a crap job for very little pay, and happier than I'd ever been in my adilt life. I'm 46 now and I NEVER lie about my age. What would be the point? Why do women do that anyway? People are always surprised I have a 24 year old son, and that's nice. My baby is graduating from high school in June, and he'll be off to college in the fall. Just five years ago I was thinking, what am I going to do with myself when I don't have any boys at home, and being quite worried about it. I still don't know what I'm going to do, but I am SO looking forward to finding out! Every age I've been so far has been a great age! Happy Birthday!


To the dad commenting on the ol' biological clock: just ask loudly in reply how it feels to sit around every New Year watching his balls drop.

Okay, so maybe only my family would find that funny...


>>> ... nor am I in a youth-oriented profession

ALL professions are youth-oriented. The only difference is that in some professions you get fired for being "too old", and in the others you're allowed to stay.

The Happy Feminist

Ooh, good one Kira, I'll use it.


I can hardly believe that I am old enough to have a fifteen year old child

Actually, you're probably old enough to have a 21 year old child, but I know what you mean.

My father is quite likely to bellow something about my biological clock, which he assumes is an all-consuming fixation for me.

Bellow? :) Ask him how his prostate exams are going and if he's happy with his Viagra prescription.

Is it just your dad, or does mom chime in too? Do they have any grandchildren or are all of their hopes pinned on you? It can be tough if there are no brothers and sisters to share the grandchild expection.

The Happy Feminist

Yes, I said 15 year old child just on the assumption that it is unusual to have a child before 20. (And a 21 year old kid is just too tough to contemplate. I myself was only just 21 not so so long ago after all!)

Yes, all my parents' reproductive hopes rest with me, an only child (and only grandchild on both sides of my family). My mother never chimes because she believes in letting me do my own thing.


I find it amazing how 50 or 60 does not seem so old any more. Only when I hear that someone is 80, then I think they are getting old.

I've enjoyed aging, for the most part. And, for the most part, I've found the women seem to get better, more fun, more interesting and sexy as they get into their late 30's and 40's.

I wouldnt have guessed that 5 years ago.

The Happy Feminist

That's interesting. I actually do feel that people across the board get more interesting when they're older. And I sometimes feel sexier as I get older. The problem comes from looking at oneself through a pop culture lens that says otherwise.

For what it's worth, I think men improve with age as well.

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