THE HAPPY FEMINIST DISCRIMINATES

In most areas of life, I strive to be scrupulously gender-blind.  But I do discriminate in one area.  When my annual physical rolls around, I always request a woman doctor.  This seems like common sense to me.  Why should I tolerate a strange man poking around in my most intimate private areas when there are plenty of qualified women professionals with whom I would be more comfortable? Apparently, this is a decision to which male gynecologists do not take kindly, according to this post by Twisty Faster.  Twisty quotes from an OB/GYN listserv in which one doctor takes pleasure in tricking women into thinking they are to see a woman doctor until he walks into the room and it's "too late," and another doctor advocates not "giving in" to the patient's preference for a woman doctor. 

I am not one to rag on the entire profession of male gynecologists.  I know at least one (the father of a friend of mine) who entered the profession with a strong feminist outlook and a dedication to women's health at a time when women themselves didn't usually become doctors.  But that doesn't change fact that I have a perfect right to choose who is going to see me naked and who is not.  And I don't think that it is unreasonable to decide that I'd rather not have random members of the opposite sex seeing me naked. 

My one experience with a male doctor (a GP, not a gynecologist) confirmed my prejudice. One year I was running a bit late on a scheduling my annual physical.  My former doctor had moved away, and I couldn't seem to get a timely appointment anywhere.  I said to myself, "Happy, you need to get over your excessive modesty.  The doctor will just look at you in a clinical way.  It's not that big a deal.  You're a grown woman and you have nothing to be embarrassed about."

So I scheduled an appointment with the male doctor. When I was taken into the examination room, the nurse instructed me to take off my clothes and put on  a flimsy hospital gown.  I did so and was sitting on the examining table with my bare legs dangling off the side and just a flimsy piece of paper covering the rest of me when the GP knocked and walked.  He immediately recoiled in horror and yelled, "OH MY GOD! YOU'RE NOT DRESSED!"  Having steeled myself to be naked with this guy, I was able to respond calmly, "Well, no, I'm not. The nurse told me to put on this hospital gown." The doctor apologized profusely, explaining that he would have preferred to meet with me first while I was still dressed.  I reassured him that I was not embarrassed and that it didn't bother me a bit to meet him for the first time while wearing the hospital gown.   The doctor was blushing profusely and insisted that he was embarrassed even if I wasn't. 

He was very nice, but his attitude had the effect of making me embarrassed even when I had steeled myself not to be embarrassed.  This was about five years ago, and I have never made an appointment to have a physical of that nature that with a male doctor again.

   

Comments

[will]

Why are you attacking me>?!?!?!?!?!??! Geez, you and VS call me fat, criticize my teeth, make posts that drive a wedge between me and my girlfriend G!

Twisty was perfectly fine.

[The Happy Feminist]

TangoMan: I am shocked -- absolutely shocked -- at the notion of men and only men having to take mandatory sexual harassment classes. I have never in all my life heard of such a thing.

As an attorney who has occasionally practiced employment law, I have conducted sexual harassment training for companies. A key component of sexual harassment training is to inform people that sexual harassment is not just male-to-female but can be female-to-male, male-to-male, and female-to-female. The stress in these classes is to educate the audience as to what they SHOULDN'T do to other employees but also what their rights are if they are victims of harassment. I never presume that my audience is comprised of either potential harassers or potential victims.

I think that forcing male employees and only male employees to take sexual harassment training may very well constitute sex discrimination in violation of Title VII. It sounds like you need a lawyer!

[will]

I should have known that HappyF specialized in sexual harassment. No wonder she is so happy.

[The Happy Feminist]

It's not my current specialty, alas, only for 3 happy years. It is amazing what goes on in the workplace though -- and I say that as a person who DEFENDED companies.

[will]

They switched you after one too many "demonstrations" of what not to do?

[The Happy Feminist]

Actually, you'd be suprised at what a raucous good time anti-harassment training can be. I am not sure I've ever laughed so hard in my life.

[The Happy Feminist]

Also, I kept saying "sexateries" when I meant "secretaries." It's very hard to talk about "sexual harassment" and "secretaries" without getting balled up. Seriously. I'm lucky I didn't get booted for objectifying the staff and creating a hostile work environment.

[will]

I can imagine it. In fact, I have participated in some training videos. Of course, I didnt know about it until they confronted me with the hidden video.

[Richard]

>>> Women on this site are telling you --testifying to you -- that they have frequently experienced being treated as sex objects in inappropriate settings or valued primarily based on their appearance

Anecdotal. Statistically, it tells us nothing. Only that women who chose to leave comments here have had bad experiences.

>>> I guess, in the absence of statistics, your impressions must trump ours.

Smokescreen. The burden is on the one doing the asserting, so go ahead and leave my impressions out of it if you wish. Neither Will nor I will get an answer to the question in any event.

>>> Yet you persistently read complaints regarding bad male behavior and the ways in which certain cultural pressures encourage same as feminists saying ALL men are bad.

Not at all, HF. I'm reading the plain meaning of the words, and the words embrace all men. You want my whole list of examples or just the top twenty?

TWISTY: Germaine Greer says women have no idea how much men hate them. I’ve been doing my best to spread the word, but let’s face it; I’m just a churlish tree falling in the forest. With no pope taking a shit nearby to hear me, I might as well be espousing tube tops to Godly Josh. But really, girls. Men hate you.

THEATER_CAB: Don't think men suck? You're wrong.

MELTED DREAMS: Dear Straight Guys, I respectfully submit that perhaps, if you really want to be seen as an understanding or sensitive individual, that you need to start treating women as people.

JSTEVENSON: Men have nothing to contribute to the growth of society except their ability to provide security. All other positive aspects of the community survival can only be provided by women.

PANDAGON: There is a little known fact that male dominance and the biological reality of men are one and the same thing, due to a curse laid on half the human race by the wicked Witch Mispenasa. It’s said that if ever women should achieve equality with men, men will cease to exist altogether.

Happy, do an experiment. Read the above quotes again, this time inserting "women" whereever you see the word men. Really cool, huh?
____________

>>> WILL: I was immediately called a troll ...

Will ... That's because you're not agreeing enough. Obviously you're the type of man who might benefit from a "cunts and tits tree" (see the angry feminist post on my blog if you require the reference). Troll status goes away if you say things like, "Great post! That really needed to be said", or "That's was awesome. You know how to tell 'em!" or "What a beautiful post. I cried."

[The Happy Feminist]

Let's assume the burden is on the person doing the asserting, Richard. You've made an assertion that certain types of behavior are "not the norm."I say we disregard your assertion because you haven't met your burden of proof. Under your own theory the most you can say is, "I don't know how frequent these kinds of events are."

But I think the alleged "burden of proof" you are advocating is pure bunkum. This is a blog, not a science journal. If that were the standard of proof then I would challenge you to come up with "statistics" to establish that the "churlish ideas" you read into feminist blogs are the "norm."

I also don't know what statistics you're even asking for (maybe it's buried on this thread somewhere) -- rape statistics???? Or statistics on men behaving badly in the gym????