THE HAPPY FEMINIST DISCRIMINATES

In most areas of life, I strive to be scrupulously gender-blind.  But I do discriminate in one area.  When my annual physical rolls around, I always request a woman doctor.  This seems like common sense to me.  Why should I tolerate a strange man poking around in my most intimate private areas when there are plenty of qualified women professionals with whom I would be more comfortable? Apparently, this is a decision to which male gynecologists do not take kindly, according to this post by Twisty Faster.  Twisty quotes from an OB/GYN listserv in which one doctor takes pleasure in tricking women into thinking they are to see a woman doctor until he walks into the room and it's "too late," and another doctor advocates not "giving in" to the patient's preference for a woman doctor. 

I am not one to rag on the entire profession of male gynecologists.  I know at least one (the father of a friend of mine) who entered the profession with a strong feminist outlook and a dedication to women's health at a time when women themselves didn't usually become doctors.  But that doesn't change fact that I have a perfect right to choose who is going to see me naked and who is not.  And I don't think that it is unreasonable to decide that I'd rather not have random members of the opposite sex seeing me naked. 

My one experience with a male doctor (a GP, not a gynecologist) confirmed my prejudice. One year I was running a bit late on a scheduling my annual physical.  My former doctor had moved away, and I couldn't seem to get a timely appointment anywhere.  I said to myself, "Happy, you need to get over your excessive modesty.  The doctor will just look at you in a clinical way.  It's not that big a deal.  You're a grown woman and you have nothing to be embarrassed about."

So I scheduled an appointment with the male doctor. When I was taken into the examination room, the nurse instructed me to take off my clothes and put on  a flimsy hospital gown.  I did so and was sitting on the examining table with my bare legs dangling off the side and just a flimsy piece of paper covering the rest of me when the GP knocked and walked.  He immediately recoiled in horror and yelled, "OH MY GOD! YOU'RE NOT DRESSED!"  Having steeled myself to be naked with this guy, I was able to respond calmly, "Well, no, I'm not. The nurse told me to put on this hospital gown." The doctor apologized profusely, explaining that he would have preferred to meet with me first while I was still dressed.  I reassured him that I was not embarrassed and that it didn't bother me a bit to meet him for the first time while wearing the hospital gown.   The doctor was blushing profusely and insisted that he was embarrassed even if I wasn't. 

He was very nice, but his attitude had the effect of making me embarrassed even when I had steeled myself not to be embarrassed.  This was about five years ago, and I have never made an appointment to have a physical of that nature that with a male doctor again.

   

Comments

"I am not one to rag on the entire profession of male gynecologists. I know at least one (the father of a friend of mine) who entered the profession with a strong feminist outlook and a dedication to women's health at a time when women themselves didn't usually become doctors. But that doesn't change the fact that I have a perfect right to choose who is going to see me naked and who is not. And I don't think that it is unreasonable to decide that I'd rather not have random members of the opposite sex seeing me naked."

This is a perfectly reasonable statement.

[will]

Oops. That previous post was from me.

[will]

I am trying to think of something to generate some controversy, but I just cannot come up with anything except an old joke:

Happy woke up this morning absolutly dreading the fact that she had a doctors appointment today. It has been a year since her last check-up and it is time for papsmear. While getting her daughter dressed for school she thought of calling and canceling the appointment but decided to just get it over with.Happy dropped her daughter off at school and realized she had some extra time before the appointment,so she took this time to go back home and take a quick wash up before going. Happy runs in the house,heads for the bathroom,grabs a rag, and off to see Dr Jones. Once Happy is all prepared in her awful gown and lying on this awful bed Dr Jones enters the room and puts Happy legs in the stirrups and has the nerve to tell her to relax. After about three minutes of pain Dr Jones says"my my my we sure made some extra effort today" Happy totally ignored him because she was so ready to get home . Once Happy arrived home with her daughter Samantha,her daughter raced up stairs and called down to Happy asking’MA MA MA MA,WHERE IS MY WASH CLOTH" Happy weary and tired answered"Sam just get a new one.Sam says "NOOOOO,I NEED MY CLOTH FROM THIS MORNING.IT HAS ALL MY STARS ,SPARKLES AND GLITTER IN IT.

.

It is disappointing for a doctor to be embarassed by seeing his patient in a hospital gown.

[The Happy Feminist]

After having to wear the awful gown and lie on the awful bed, poor Happy had to come back to her computer and read this awful joke.

[will]

Sorry if that was too much HF.

[The Happy Feminist]

Oh no. Nothing I like better than a truly, truly awful joke.

[Richard]

>>> Why should I tolerate a strange man poking around in my most intimate private areas when there are plenty of qualified women professionals with whom I would be more comfortable?

The better question would be why you feel more comfortable with a woman. I would have absolutely no problem with a female physician poking about my loins as I don't view a medical exam as a sexual experience. The doctor's job is to analyze me as a biological organism sitting on the slab in the examination room. Obviously you think a male doc might be having naughty thoughts. Why else would you feel uncomfortable? Which might say more about your mindset than about his, no?

And I hate to see you reference Twisty's stuff as you do an insult to your own blog by the very mention. She's a miracle. Take her explanation for why male gynos say it's okay to go to a male gyno: "That’s because, in a patriarchy, men have a perfect right to be in charge of female reproductive organs." Can't you feel her pathology in that statement? Here, I'll help. I've inserted the word "men" into the following definition. Tell me it doesn't fit Twisty's blog personality:

"[BLANK] is characterized by a distrust of [men] and a constant suspicion that [men] around you have sinister motives. People with this disorder tend to have excessive trust in their own knowledge and abilities ... They search for hidden meanings in everything and read hostile intentions into the actions of [men].... They usually shift blame to [men] and tend to carry long grudges."

That's a definition for Paranoid Personality Disorder. Creepy fit, huh? In Twisty's world, American male ob/gyn professionals have all the sophistication and cultural aplomb of a 16th-century conquistador away for a fortnight of robust raping of the natives. Twisty has some things to sort out.

[bmmg39]

I think that, after the first priority of physical health, the second priority of patient's preference should be taken into account and accomodated if at all possible. A lot of men are embarrassed to be unclothed in front of a female nurse or doctor. (And then, I'm sure some men and women actually prefer having a staffer of the OPPOSITE gender.) Some people are modest and some aren't. It's not weird to have a preference as to who treats you.

On another note, Twisty, indeed, has some things to work out.

[Anne]

"The better question would be why you feel more comfortable with a woman."

I don't know about anyone else, but I prefer a female GYN because I've had both male and female doctors over the years and the bottom line is that the women have just been a better experience.

I was always pleased with the professsionalism and dedication of my male GYNs, but the exam itself was invariably uncomfortable, even painful. I've never had a painful exam from a female doctor. In fact, this topic has come up among my female friends and I'd estimate that 90% of them agree that their female GYN does a better job of the exam. (Almost all of them started with male doctors, back in the day.)

If you're comfortable with a female doctor, then that's okay. I'm sure there are women who are comfortable with their male GYN doctors, too.

(And, in reference to the anecdote about the doc who said he doesn't let women know they're seeing a man until he walks into the room and then it's "too late"? It totally isn't too late. Someone always has the right to excuse themself and not complete the appointment. You'll have to pay for the doctor's time, but some might think it's a fair trade for not being examined by someone who feels it's right to "trick" patients into an exam room.)

[The Happy Feminist]

Yes, I should clarify that I would respect a man's choice not to be seen by a female proctologist or urologist.

My discomfort with male doctors doesn't stem from the idea of the man viewing the exam as a sexual experience. After all, I don't inquire of my female doctors' sexual orientation and, for all I know, my doctor could be a lesbian or bisexual. It is just ingrained in me, rightly or wrongly, that you don't get naked in front of the opposite sex, EXCEPT in a sexual scenario. It also somehow feels more vulnerable to be naked and examined by someone with a different set of reproductive equipment than I. The traditional power differential between male and female, and particularly between a male professional and female civilian probably contributes to my discomfort as well. The point is that when it comes to getting naked I don't think that I have to justify my preference as to who gets to be present.

As for Twisty: I adore her. Her brand of feminism -- its emphasis and her positions on certain issues -- is quite different than mine, but I find her exteremely witty and I think she makes a compelling case for her point of view. Unfortunately, misogyny does exist in the world (whole societies are structured around it) and I think it's smart, not paranoid, to remember that fact.