"The vacuum cleaner"

You mean, "the dog mulcher," don't you?


If I had a dollar for every time my dog knocked something over and scared himself with it, I wouldn't be sitting at this desk, that's for sure. He is not scared of the things you list, with the possible exception of the four-foot-tall Santa, but there have been incidents with wheelbarrows, lawn gnomes, camping coolers, leaf bags, and my yoga ball. Especially the yoga ball, since it tends to move on its own for no apparent reason (usually when the windows are open, go figure), and it is the same size as the dog. My boyfriend, compassionate fellow that he is, discovered that it is really funny to put the dog's bone on top of the yoga ball. The dog really really wants the bone, but when he gets close enough to the ball it moves just a bit and he runs away with his tail between his legs, only to return a minute later and try again. Poor puppy. It must be hard to live in such a confusing and scary world.

The Happy Feminist

Men are mean, aren't they? My husband likes to put the four foot tall Santa in front of the dog's food bowl.


But how does he feel about Feline-Americans ?


I don't know about the corgi, but my dog looooooooves to bark at Feline Americans. He also likes to bark at small children, though, so that probably says something about my dog-parenting skills....

The Happy Feminist

My dog HATES Feline-Americans.


Ha ha !! My Callie the Calico loves to sit in our picture window and broadcast her patented Rays of Hate (tm) at every dog she sees. Never mind that they don't notice her and couldn't care less.

Of course, I find your Corgi adorable, but we need to keep that a secret from Callie, in the interests of female harmony, don't you know...

Staircase Witch

heh...the setter/retriever mix next door who barks at me every time I come out of the house is a big ol' marshmallow.

One day I hosed off our small portable grill and put it in the side yard to dry off in the sun, then went round to the other side of the house to do some yardwork. I heard "ROOF! ROOOOF! ROOOOOOF!" When I came back our neighbor was out in her yard. She called me over and said, "You won't believe it--he was standing there barking at your grill!"

Good dog, Rusty, protecting your people from all those stubborn, baked-on carcinogens.

I get very nervous about our cats getting visitors from outside, though. Last time a stray cat came to the French doors out back and wouldn't leave, our orange tabby, the Alpha Female, got so upset and frustrated at not being able to drive him away that she turned all her rage on her brother, the poor, lovable, cuddly Omega Cat. It was apparently like a feline version of 28 Days Later: one minute she was washing his face, and the next he had a bloody puncture wound just under his eye. I heard the squalling over the phone, then came home to clumps of white fur all over the front hallway and a pair of baleful, suspicious eyes under the bed. A couple days' timeout and she was back to herself again, but I have seen the face of Demon-Posessed Kitty and don't care to again.


I didn't notice food on that list. CHEAP SHOT!


but I have seen the face of Demon-Posessed Kitty and don't care to again.

Whoa. That happened here once, except that our cats almost destroyed a really expensive lamp in the process. Luckily, the neighbor cat who used to razz them from the other side of the window moved away with his owners a couple of years ago.

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