THE CULT OF THE HYMEN LIVES ON . . .

In Europe and America, women are generally no longer subject to humiliating and painful rituals to ensure that our hymens remain intact until our wedding night : no inspections of the bedsheets for blood after the wedding night to confirm we were still virgins on that important occasion, no forced gynecological exams to confirm or dispel suspicions that we have lost our virginity before we ought (a practice that has been known to occur in Saudi Arabia), and no sewing up of our private parts for the purpose of protecting the hymen (a widespread sub-Saharan practice known as infibulation). 

Nonetheless, our own society is apparently not immune from the notion that the hymen is something to be prized -- even though it is just a membrane that serves absolutely no purpose other than to make first intercourse a painful experience for many women, an anatomical peculiarity our species shares only with pigs.  Apparently -- brace yourself for this -- women in the Middle East, Latin America, and now the United States, are paying for surgery to reconstruct the hymen!*  "It's the ultimate gift for the man who has everything," says Ms. Yarborough, 40 years old, a medical assistant from San Antonio [who paid $5,000 for the surgery on the occasion of her 17th wedding anniversary].

Oddly enough, after discovering this bizarre story yesterday, I found myself reading about another hymeneal surgical procedure-- the hymenotomy.  According to Joan Jacobs Brumberg in The Body Project: An Intimate History of American Girls, a hymenotomy is a surgical incision of the hymen which gynecologists began performing in the '30s and '40s to prevent hemorrhage, pain, and infection on the honeymoon. While this sounds awfully progressive in that it focuses on ensuring a positive sexual experience for the woman, alas no:

Because doctors in the interwar years did not want to make premarital sex too easy, young women who came asking for the special surgery were likely to be interrogated about their marriage plans and the identity of the future husband. And some physicians wanted assurance that the bridegroom had given his approval since "an occasional man might want to convince himself that his bride is a virgin" [according to a gynecology textbook of the era].  As late as 1939, gynecologists were advised to obtain the permission of the groom, since it was still assumed that he had a custodial right to the membrane. 

While it may seem to many of us that the concept of male ownership of women's bodies is long extinct, it was certainly alive and well within living memory (my own grandmother who is still alive and well was married in 1936) and perhaps still lurks not far below the consciousness of many modern-day Americans like Ms. Yarborough.

*Via Pandagon and Lawyers, Guns and Money.

Comments

[Nicole Black]

It is disturbing. I competely agree. Another surgery that I learned of recently is a labiaplasty, which is a surgery performed to reduce the size of the labia so that they are more cosmetically appealing. See, for example, this article entitled: United States: men coerce women into vaginal cosmetic surgery
(from: http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qa3693/is_200501/ai_n10297883)

You can also google that term and find some nifty before and after photos.

Makes me wish I was a man, sometimes. *sigh*

[Richard Ames]

As I was reading about the hymenotomy I was struck by the idea that underprivileged women could probably do it themselves with some topical Novocain and a pizza cutter for fewer than thirty bucks, so long as they didn't press too hard on the pizza cutter. Dexter Russell makes a wonderful stain-free, high-carbon steel pizza cutter with a replaceable blade (who wants to reuse the blade after something like that?). It sports a solid steel handle and 2-3/4 inch wheel blade. http://www.dexter-russell.com/RHImages/Large/18030.jpg ($20.40)

[sparklegirl]

Ouch!! I'll never eat pizza again....

[The Happy Feminist]

Thank goodness that someone is thinking about the underprivileged.

[Samara]

Ha! :)

"Dear Future Husband: Due to vigorous gymnastic stretching and other physical activity including a dozen years of martial arts, I have no hymen to speak of. Also, I won't be having it reconstructed, because that's stupid. I'm glad you agree. Love, Samara"

[Zan]

This struck me as odd that someone would want to reconstruct their hymen. THough, I am a big proponent of virginity (for both men and women until marriage) I think the reconstruction of it is dishonest to your spouse.

I was very happy to get rid of it. My wedding night was horrible. In fact it took three weeks to actually confirm the marriage. This was very upsetting to me and I actually thought I would have to get a hymenectomey. I even went to see a doctor who said I was just small and to take some time.

Because of my experience I am even a bigger proponent of waiting until you are with someone who has promised to spend the rest of his life with you and who truly loves you for who you are. My honeymoon taught me what a wonderful man I had married. He was so understanding.

BTW, I am fine now in the marital relations area of marriage and we have a wonderful time enjoying intimacy.

[Ann]

oof. Never again. Personally, I fail to see the value in a "gift" that consists of a) watching the woman you love try to hide her grimace of agony, b) the sentence "I'm sorry, we have to stop, it hurts too much, and c) the romantic experience of running for the Woolite and scrubbing gallons of blood out of your mother's white carpet while still naked (although if you wait until you're married this part can probably be avoided). Honestly, I think it would have been a much better experience for him too if there had been no hymen! I can't see why anyone would want that experience recreated....

[Zan]

There really isn't THAT much blood. However, for me it hurt bad. I don't see how young girls can give up their virginity so easily for a stupid boyfriend who probably won't be around in a year or so.

When I say stupid boyfriend I am merely refering to boys who are just interested in the physical relationship between him and his girlfriend and really are not interested in a lifetime commitment. I realize that there are many people who live with men they are not married to and they say that they are commited to eachother. I have no respect for that kind of relationship (makes no sense to me) but I wouldn't put that in the same category as a teenage boy with a very young girlfriend who is desperate to do anything to keep her boyfriend.

[The Happy Feminist]

Hey Zan, Maybe I am reading too much into it but I think the language you use is telling. "I don't see how young girls can give up their virginity so easily FOR a stupid boyfriend who probably won't be around in a year or so . . . " I agree that it is unfortunate for a girl to do something like that simply to please a boyfriend -- but in a lot of situations the girl is losing her virginity FOR herself.

I had sex before marriage because I wanted to experience sex. I never did it with the expectation of trying to keep a boyfriend or to please someone else. I did it on my own terms rather than FOR anyone. I never viewed the loss of virginity as something that should be done FOR anyone ever-- not for a boyfriend or my future husband.

Of course, now that I am married, I am committed to being faithful to my husband both sexually and otherwise. I don't view that as inconsistent with my premarital conduct. I have no regrets at all. I don't believe the fact that my husband and I had slept with other people before marriage has detracted from our relationship in any way.

[Ann]

Zan, I had to wear a pad for four days afterward. There was a lot of blood.

HF, I totally agree with you. I was in college, not that young, and definitely not desperate. No, I'm not with him any more, but we were together all through college, broke up at the beginning of our last semester senior year. And it was because I wanted to. (Fortunately it got much better after that lousy bloody first time!) I have a lot of friends who did sleep with their boyfriends before they were ready, when they were too young, because the boyfriend pressured them into it. I knew I didn't want to go that route, having watched them deal with their regret, and I decided to wait until I was in an important relationship. Which I did. There was mutual respect there, and love, and while he didn't end up being the actual love of my life I certainly don't regret it. Besides, geez, here I am at the ripe ol' age of 25 and still not married. How many years of great sex would I have had to miss out on?? ;-)