The Happy Feminist: GROWING UP IN THE DOLL CORNER (WHY I AM THE WAY I AM)

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GROWING UP IN THE DOLL CORNER (WHY I AM THE WAY I AM)

When I was a child in a whitebread American community during the '70s, it was quite apparent to me that the boys were allowed to have more fun and were accorded more respect than girls. Boys got to run all over the classroom playing war, while girls were confined to “the doll corner” (and I mean the teacher came after us if we strayed from our boundaries). Boys were coached to play games of skill (mainly soccer) while girls played hopscotch. Hopscotch, quite frankly, isn’t very challenging. There is a reason there are no professional hopscotch leagues.

Fathers clapped little boys on the back, and said, “Whaddya think of them Redskins?” Fathers patted little girls on the head and said, “Aren't you a pretty little thing?” Mothers sighed indulgently that “boys will be boys” while glaring balefully at girls who dared to get their fingernails dirty. Puny little boys were told to take care of their mothers and sisters while daddy was away. In the worst example from my childhood, my female gym teacher divided my class into five competitive mixed-sex teams -- each with a little boy as the leader, and a little girl as a second-in-command. This was in an American public school circa 1979!

Folks like the people at Focus on the Family believe that feminists are trying to turn little girls until little boys and vice-versa. Others believe that they must impose strictly defined differences upon little boys and little girls. I understand that they do not want to raise feminists. I understand that many little girls love dolls. But my highly gendered childhood DROVE me to feminism. "Feminism" was the only word I knew that expressed my profound distaste for being placed in a category that did not suit me and my deep longing for the respect the little boys seemed to take for granted.

October 14, 2005 in Feminism | Permalink

Comments

I wonder of the reasoning for these exclusive gender roles. What scares them so much about women wanting to play with toy trucks or boys who like to play with dolls.

My first toy was a he-man. My dad didn't want me to grow up to be too prissy and unable to communicate or relate to the opposite gender. He also wanted to teach me to defend and stick up for myself...

Posted by: Jessica | October 16, 2005 at 03:45 PM

I've thought a lot about these gender roles, as I was fortunate enough to grow up in a small community, where the girls had no choice but to play with the boys. Thankfully, the girls were not forced into a "doll corner", nor did we feel shame in playing some "girl" games, such as hopscotch (hey, for an uncoordinated kid that was a challenge!). I think we all learned to relate to each other in a much more meaningful way than is possible with the arbitrary borders that society has created. It blows my mind today that such a thing happened in a small Southern town.

My point, I suppose, is that we would all do well to get rid of these boundaries at an early age and learn to relate to each other; perhaps this is the answer to getting rid of the "war of the sexes".

Posted by: Jonathan | October 17, 2005 at 08:57 AM