SOME PRIVILEGE

In my last post, I observed that in the reality show “The Girls Next Door,”  Barbi Benton, Hugh Hefner’s 50-something ex-girlfriend, snarked about the extreme youth of his current crop of three girlfriends, the oldest of whom is almost fifty years younger than he is.  Tango Man commented, Yeah, that female beauty and youth privilege thing can be hard to give up.  It is unclear what specific “privileges” Tango Man may have been referring to in Benton’s case.  The privilege of being Hefner’s temporary girlfriend?  Whoop-di-doo.

It sticks in my craw when men talk about some alleged “power” or “privilege” young attractive women have by virtue of their youth and beauty.  Are young and beautiful women sometimes treated favorably?  Absolutely.  But this isn’t “power,” nor is it privilege of any lasting or reliable sort.

When I was in my 20s, I constantly got pulled over for speeding without ever once getting a ticket.  I have frequently been told that the cops probably didn’t ticket me because I was young and cute (and white, but that’s not the issue here).  Was I glad to not get a ticket?  Sure!  But the power in these situations was always in the hands of the male cops who pulled me over.  They got to decide whether they deemed me attractive enough to exercise their power and discretion to let me off the hook for speeding.

What advantages did I gain during the years when I was at my most “attractive”?  People were often nicer to me than to supposedly less attractive people.  People may have been more likely to hire me or date me.  Teachers and police officers may have been inclined to give me a break.  But again, while these may have been pleasant advantages, all the real power in a given situation was in the hands of those who chose to treat me in a particular way based on my looks.  All that stuff plus $2.00 will get me a cup of coffee.

Some women have parlayed their beauty into actual power and control.  But a famous model is not powerful because she is beautiful but rather because of the money or status in the entertainment industry which she has acquired by selling her beauty.

In reality, the supposed “power” and “privilege” enjoyed by beautiful women are merely fleeting advantages that are entirely dependent on the goodwill and subjective opinion of others (usually men), and are likely to disappear once the woman grows older, or gains weight, or becomes ill.    Me -- I’d  prefer the privilege of being able to buy three handsome 20-something boyfriends to live entirely at my beck and call when I’m 80.

Comments

[TangoMan]

I constantly got pulled over for speeding without ever once getting a ticket.

Every time I've been pulled over for speeding I've received a ticket. Never once was I let go with a warning.

34 Words.

[The Happy Feminist]

So?

[TangoMan]

They got to decide whether they deemed me attractive enough to exercise their power and discretion to let me off the hook for speeding.

Well, it's not like a white man who is interviewing for a job has the power, because of his race or sex, to claim the job for himself. That power lies with others. By your reasoning, his race and sex are immaterial to his situation, therefore any sipposed privilege associated with them doesn't exist.

Similarly, when it is claimed that people listen to a man more seriously than they do to a woman, there is no male privilege involved, for the male has no power to make the listener take his words more seriously than those of a woman.

Yet another example, when double standards are applied and women complain that men get the better of the deal because of male privilege, it isn't the man who is exercising the double standard which benefits him, but someone else has that power.

I kind of like this line of reasoning and I think that you're right - this whole feminist claptrap about privilege doesn't really exist for the power of judgement really sits with those who are making decisions and not with those who possess the qualities to which we ascribe privilege.

[The Happy Feminist]

I didn't say there was no privilege -- I said beauty does not produce a lasting or reliable privilege.

My whiteness is an immutable, objective fact. Thus, it is a lasting and reliable privilege.

Also I am not arguing that the advantages enjoyed by young, beautiful women are right or fair. In fact, they are most UNFAIR to individual women in particular and women as a class.

[TangoMan]

Thus, it is a lasting and reliable privilege

You're contradicting yourself. Recall that the power lies with those who are doing the judging, not with the person that has either the lasting, or temporary, feature that is deemed to be privileged.

I think I'll stick with your definition for it makes the most sense. It was the cop who had the privilege, not the beautiful woman.

[The Happy Feminist]

I don't see the contradiction.

The beautiful woman does not have power when she gets pulled over by the cop. But if she does not get a ticket because of her looks, she definitely has received an unfair, undeserved advantage in that situation. This is wrong. It is unfair to women not deemed "hot" enough. It is also unfair to male motorists.

Sure not getting a ticket is a nice perk. Over the long haul though the beautiful woman is at the mercy of time and of subjective assessments by others.

[The Happy Feminist]

Oh, I see, why you think I am contradicting myself. Tango Man, power and privilege are not the same thing.

[Helma Bim]

Happy rocks! Great post.

There is no contradiction. Power and privilege are not conserved; they can be created and destroyed. It is true that privileges can be turned into power: to take TM's example, the man who has the job (and wants to hire the pretty young woman, presumably) got the privilege of being the boss from someone else and now has power over other people.

A hot young woman can turn her privilege into power: Mariah Carey, for instance, managed to write an unprecedented poison pill into her recording contract such that when her record label wished to fire her, they had to buy her out for $25 million. (Barbi Benton didn't manage such contract negotiations with Hugh and spent much of her career taking guest shots on Fantasy Island.)

[The Happy Feminist]

Heh heh. I had forgotten her time on Fantasy Island.

[TangoMan]

got the privilege of being the boss from someone else and now has power over other people.

This is why I find such enjoyment in debating feminists - their perspective on the world is so alien to the rest of us. Yeah, bosses don't earn their position, they got them from someone else, you know, "you look like a good sort, so here, you can be be boss, but remember, you have to play your part in perpetuating the non-meritocratic ideals of power and privilege."