RANDOM NOTES, LINKS, AND OBSERVATIONS -- UPDATED

--  Duh.  Forgot to mention that Clare at Ink and Incapability has put together yet another kick ass Carnival of Feminists -- including a couple of controversial posts. (These links are to posts about the controversies, not the controversial posts themselves.)

-- Gahh.  This kind of thing drives me nuts. Dr. Helen believes that women should not "flash their tits" on the internet without repercussions.  I guess sexual expression by women MUST be punished.  Not sure why.  Just because, I guess.  Dr. Helen apparently also believes that "women" need some lesson in personal responsibility that "men" already understand.  Zuzu at Feministe and Amanda at Pandagon are all over it.  (And for the record, I am not condoning whatever threat was made to Jeff Goldstein's toddler.  I have tried following all the links but can't quite get to the bottom of what Deb Frisch said exactly and in what context.  But whatever it was, creepy comments about people's kids are bad regardless of who is making them-- obviously.)

UPDATE:  Dr. Helen offers this defense in her comments thread:

I have nothing against boob-flashers myself and frankly, think it's fine. What I object to and should have made more clear in my post is that the boob flasher in this case is Diane York Blaine, a professor, who is upset with conservatives, saying they are out to get her etc. as she dares to expose herself and her tits. However, the reality seems to be that she discriminates against men and is in the classroom preaching that all men are pigs and complicit in rape and when others call her on this--she then seems not to be able to deal with it and obviously thinks her "cute" antics with her boobs make her free. In other words, she thinks that because she is a woman, she can get away with this outrageous behavior. Imagine the reverse--a male professor says all women are sluts in class--than shows his penis on his website and thinks no one should hold him accountable.

Still scratching my head about why the tit-flashing is the issue rather than the claimed discrimination.

--  Read this amazing post by Lisa at Feminist Mormon Housewives about her journey from orthodoxy to a more liberal outlook-- and how she reconciled that liberalism with her religious belief.  I love Feminist Mormon Housewives.  These are some bright women.

-- OK, I'll admit it.  As I have been zoning out on Sunday nights, I have been finding myself watching "The Girls Next Door," the reality show about the lives of Hugh Hefner's three "girlfriends" at the Playboy Mansion in L.A.  Recent highlights include a visit from Hefner's ex-girlfriend of many years, Barbi Benton, now in her 50s, who kept making snarky comments about the extreme youth of Hefner's current crop (ranging in age from 20 to 31) -- and current head girlfriend Holly's sort-of-triumphant-sort-of-nervous commentary to the effect that she and her co-girfriends are young NOW and have "Hef" NOW.  This week, the girlfriends took a day trip, and kept reassuring the camera that "Hef" was OK with their absence.  Head girlfriend Holly continually called "Hef" to check in (greeting him with baby talk: "Hiiiiii Pufffin!") and fretted that some other "girl" would swoop in to take "Hef" the moment she was gone.  Apparently, there have been prior instances when a girlfriend has been replaced after making the mistake of leaving Hef's side for a day. Also check this out:

For Hef's girlfriends, there are some rules to follow. You aren't just dating one of the most charming and powerful men in the world, you're part of Hef's image as a public figure and corporate icon. Therefore Holly, Kendra and Bridget have a 9 p.m. (okay, 9 p.m.-ish) curfew if they are out without Hef. So, if they're in, say, Vegas, without him, they better hope the private jet makes good time.

Say it with me all at once: Ewwwwwwwww.

--  My grandmother and her son (my uncle) are having an on-going feud about FDR.  My libertarian/conservative uncle who wishes he could tote his antique guns in his holster around L.A. likes to rage on about how FDR ruined the country.  My grandmother with some passion rails in response that my uncle just doesn't understand what the Depression was really like and that FDR "literally saved people's lives."

-- One of the worst things about extreme old age is having people talk to you like you're five.  My 90-year-old grandmother is completely with it mentally. She is up on politics, thinks Jon Stewart is "cute," and still cooks, cleans, manages her own finances, and thinks no differently than your average 40 year old. She just walks really slowly, has trouble reading for extended lengths of time, and refrains from driving.  Yet my aunt persists in speaking to my grandmother with exaggerated step-by-step explanations of basic things and always seem assumes that my grandmother doesn't understand what's going on.  Agatha Christie had one of the best takes on this phenomenon in her Miss Marple series in which people constantly made the mistake of dismissing brilliant old-lady-detective Miss Marple as "an old pussycat."

-- My grandmother in a way has a good set up by which she lives in her very own apartment attached to my aunt and uncle's house.  It has its own kitchen and laundry facilities so in many ways she is self-sufficient.  But she is completely dependent on my aunt and uncle for transportation and contact with the outside world.  If she needs something from the store, she needs to get my aunt or uncle to take her.  She constantly feels like she is imposing on them.  I know people often assume that being taken in by relatives is vastly preferable to living in an old-age home, but I think there are some benefits to paying for one's care rather than relying on the goodwill even of one's nearest and dearest.

Comments

[Sidebar-for the other half]

The boob fiasco(I absolutely hate the "t" word. Am I the only one?)perplexes me. But less because of Dr. Helen's comment than the need to focus on that particular comment. She siad so many outrageous things--that particular comment paled in comparison, in my opinion.

That whole Goldstein mess is weird. Deb Frisch is clearly more than a bit unhinged. She needs to think before she types. Sounds like she lost her job as result of what she wrote, which kind of sucks.

[The Happy Feminist]

Funny -- I've always preferred "tits" to "boobs." I suppose you can never go wrong with "breasts" or the delightfully old-fashioned and rather vague "bosom."

[The Happy Feminist]

By the way, Sidebar, I've been meaning to publicize you're remake of your blog to a feminist blog. Will do that soon!

[raging red]

Oh man. I had the great pleasure (eye roll) of watching that show about Hugh Hefner's girlfriends on a recent flight. I knew I should change the channel, but it had a train wreck effect on me. The 9 pm curfew is what jumped out at me most. They couldn't stay in Vegas for one night in the posh Playboy suite at the Palms because they had to be back by 9. WTF? As if the age difference doesn't have enough of a "daddy" vibe to it (hell, probably a "grandpa" vibe), he gives them a curfew to boot! Ick.

[Sidebar-for the other half of the human race]

HF- I think the reason I like "boobs" better is that I've never heard a guy say something degrading about "boobs", but have used the "t" word (I hate it so much, I can't even type it) by guys in that way more times than I can count.

And, I'd greatly appreciate a mention. I lost a lot of blog traffic as a result of my long lull in posting, and it's not the easiest thing to try to get people to stop on over now that I've shifted focus and am blogging again. And, the fact that adding haloscan to my blog deleted all of my prior comments from readers certainly doesn't help things. The comments were one of the best parts of my blog. Oh well.

Anyway, a mention would be great. Thanks in advance:)

[Richard]

>>> Dr. Helen believes that women should not "flash their tits" on the internet without repercussions. I guess sexual expression by women MUST be punished. Not sure why.

How far are you willing to carry your support of “sexual expression,” Happy? If you’re just speaking of photos on the Internet here, then I agree with you. No biggie. But is it okay for a guy to flash his (excuse me) dick at you because he wants to express himself sexually? When does expression become incivility, or is civility oppressive to you?

[The Happy Feminist]

Well, no, Richard. I never said ALL sexual expression is okay. Telling my co-worker or a random person on the street what I'd like to do them sexually is not okay. Flashing people is not okay.

Maintaining a personal Flickr account of nude pictures which people are free to look at or not as they choose? I don't think that conduct warrants "repercussions."

[TangoMan]

Barbi Benton, now in her 50s, who kept making snarky comments about the extreme youth of Hefner's current crop

Yeah, that female beauty & youth privilege thing can be hard to give up.

[The Happy Feminist]

Some privilege.

[TangoMan]

You haven't be cyberstalked until you've been Frisched, and I've been unlucky enough to have been Firsched, by the Frisch herself, on my blog, and then she folllowed over to friend's blog. This was over a year ago so we weren't forewarned as to how far she would go, but the early salvos were bizarre in the trainwreck kind of way and they got progressively more bizarre from there. It took a while but we finally got rid of her and we all felt safer as a result.