Tra la la -- I know everyone's probably getting sick of Hirshman, but I am just so tickled to have gotten my copy of her book Get to Work: A Manifesto for Women of the World from Amazon. Hirshman's book speaks to something deep in my core. The fact is, I am completely Hirshman-ish in my thinking about my own choices and I always have been. Yet I see nary any validation for that in our culture, especially for women.
I have always felt not only a strong desire for a career but a strong sense of DUTY towards my career. I have always been very duty-oriented, and in my mind, my obligation is to contribute to the labor force, and to push myself as far as I can in whatever endeavor I choose to adopt. I feel this way partly because I feel I ought to exercise the rights hard-won by past feminists, and partly because I feel that I ought to use all of my privileges, all of my talents and education, out in the world for the benefit of others besides my family. Maybe I am not talented enough to discover the cure for cancer, but I still ought to use my talents however far they extend.
This is why it cheeves me off to no end when career women are castigated as being "selfish." I always think to myself, "Working long hours and fretting constantly on behalf of my clients is the way a selfish person behaves?!?!?!? People think I do this just so I can drive a snazzy car?!?!?!?" (By the way, my car is so un-snazzy that I actually have to roll the windows up and down manually.)
Working is certainly no walk in the park. It's stressful and you're constantly answering to people. In my case, I've got demanding clients, perfectionist bosses, and grumpy judges all looking over my shoulder, as well as opposing counsel just waiting for me to trip up. There are days when I love it and days when I am miserable. But there is no question in my mind that my calling and my obligation in life is to WORK, and to work outside the home. I don't do this just to have a little extra cash in the bank and I don't do it just to look all glamorous in a business suit. I do it because I think what I do has value.
And you know what else? I do put my work above family. All the time. It is a frequent occurrence in our household that I will say to my darling husband, "You know what? You're not gonna see me this weekend, because I am going to be chained to my desk working." Do I feel even slightly guilty about this? Not a bit. His job as my husband is to support me in my endeavors just as I support him in his. He has my first loyalty over any other individual on the planet, and I love him deeply, and I would certainly drop everything for him in a crisis, but family time does not come before work time in our house. No way. The point of family, in my view, is to support and nurture the individual visions of each member. "Family" is not in itself a mythical good or an end goal.
I know Hirshman has pissed off a lot of people by trashing other women's choices and I have said repeatedly that deriding how other people spend their time isn't my thing. But, you know what, it is so wonderful and refreshing to have someone validate -- without apology or qualification -- the choices of working women who value their careers. And reading her validation made me realize how very rare it is to see that in our press and in our culture.
The few times I have expressed to others my real feelings about career and its centrality to my life and self-image, I have been absolutely derided. When I told a college professor/mentor that I was "ambitious," she acted as though I had confessed some terrible sin that she had to help me overcome. Others have told me that I am "arrogant" or that I am a "sucker" just slaving away to make some big company richer.
But I will say it here, loud and proud. I work full-time for a living and I will continue working full-time for a living. I will work full-time for a living if I have children. I will work full-time for a living if my husband gets a $500,000 a year job. I will work full-time for a living if I win the lottery. On my death bed, I will probably wish that I spent more time at the office. And I think that's an absolutely honorable choice that I, as a woman, have no need to apologize for. Thank you very much.
Thank you for your positive view of work. The thing that bothered me most about this whole Hirshman firestorm is how work in the formal sector is derided as utter drudgery. People who enjoy formal paid work are viewed as handmaids to capitalism soley interested in padding their back accounts. Work, from low-status jobs such as hotel maids to high-status jobs such as doctors, has unique and important values other than the accummulation of money.
Posted by: scantee | June 22, 2006 at 02:19 PM
Amen sister. I have been holding my own tongue on this latest round of Hirshman blogging since I got so thoroughly reamed last time. But,I am with you, I have chosen to push myself as far as I can in my career. But, my idol was Simone de Beauvoir. And, her writings on marriage and motherhood are far worse than anything Hirshman says (I am so hardcore, I won't even get married!)
Posted by: aspazia | June 22, 2006 at 02:23 PM
What's with all of the attitudes. Happy, if you want to work, go work. If you want to stay home and eat bon bons, stay home and eat bon bons (other issues about that are between you and your husband - just the same as if he wanted to stay home and eat bon bons). So what if other people do not like your choices. These are the kinds of choices society allows you to make. Just because some author has to label, categorize, and critique these choices a certain way is, when it comes down to it, meaningless (thus, the reason a number of my friends have left academia for other careers - their research had little/no impact on real life problems). His or her writings do not have to have any effect on your day to day life.
Nor are these writings needed to justify your choices. As you point out, you're a productive member of society. If others do not understand your choices, maybe the problem is with them and not you. Are they too hung up on the idea that women are supposed to get married, put their careers aside and crank out babies? Are they jealous because they realize that they've made the wrong choices in life and prefer the choices you've made rather than their own choices?
As for validation, you don't need it from a book. You have it within yourself. You're happy with what you're doing.
Gee, I'm short eight words . . . and that's 250.
Posted by: Chipmunk | June 22, 2006 at 03:21 PM
>>> "You know what? You're not gonna see me this weekend, because I am going to be chained to my desk working."
I don't really view this as putting work before family. Obviously (hopefully?) your family gets some benefit out of your efforts at work, plus you have responsibilities that may not always mesh with family time. That’s unavoidable unless you take the extreme step of quitting work. On the other hand, if you preferred to be at work on most weekends rather than with family, or looked for opportunities to spend even more time at work, than I'd say you're putting work first (and also that you should scout out a good divorce lawyer for the storm to come).
(120 words)
Posted by: Richard | June 22, 2006 at 03:51 PM
go Happy!
Posted by: Girlistic | June 22, 2006 at 04:06 PM
You're missing the point, chipmunk. Of course, I am free to do whatever I want, and I do. But I think respect and recognition are extremely important. I know men in general certainly think so.
Posted by: The Happy Feminist | June 22, 2006 at 04:24 PM
This post made me extremely happy.
Posted by: Mandolin | June 22, 2006 at 05:15 PM
but family time does not come before work time in our house.
That is an interesting way to view things, but I am glad it's not the way I view it.
Posted by: David Thompson | June 22, 2006 at 05:56 PM
Well, obviously different parts of Hirshman`s message resonate differently with different people!
Glad you`re happy, Happy.
Posted by: L. | June 22, 2006 at 06:49 PM
how work in the formal sector is derided as utter drudgery
Sometimes it is. HF is in a generally well-paid, intellectually stimulating part of the workforce.
I, too, am glad to see somebody say that career isn't an only-if-you-have-to choice for women. I kinda wish Hirschman had been able to do it without crapping on mothers and on the women she pays to clean her house, though.
Posted by: mythago | June 23, 2006 at 12:54 AM