Ugh. I just attended a bar association on women in litigation. I am actually not a member of the Women's Bar Association. Maybe that means I am a bad feminist. I don't know. But I have never felt disadvantaged as a woman in the profession and therefore I have never felt a need for a bar association just for women. Nonetheless, I attended this particular event because (a) I am a feminist blogger so I should attend events like this and (b) a good friend of mine was running the event.
The panel consisted of some judges and heavy hitters in the profession and the discussion focused on work/life balance and how to function in the profession when you have small children. And at the end, I got all excited and made an impassioned statement about how this issue shouldn't be automatically accepted as just a women's issue. My arms might have been flailing when I was talking and some spit might have flown through the air. I am not sure my statement was completely coherent and it sure as hell wasn't well thought out. I have a vague feeling that perhaps I have just embarrassed myself in front of a number of very powerful and influential women in my profession.
Note to self -- don't make impromptu speeches in a professional setting about topics that make you crazy.
Plus, your slip was showing.
I agree that you have to be relatively careful about making impromtu comments at events like that. It is good to participate in bar functions, but you have to make sure that you make a coherent point.
Otherwise, they will be snickering about you for the next couple of years.
Posted by: will | March 16, 2006 at 02:22 PM
Oh dear. Do you really think they'll be snickering?
Posted by: The Happy Feminist | March 16, 2006 at 02:24 PM
It depends if you came across as intelligent or crazy. Your comment certainly is not crazy. It sounds like an important comment to make.
But most of us can make a crazy comment sound intelligent and an intelligent comment sound crazy, depending on the day.
Posted by: will | March 16, 2006 at 02:26 PM
yeah. I don't have a good feeling about this one. I am going to call me friend who moderated the event and try to get her read on it.
Posted by: The Happy Feminist | March 16, 2006 at 02:34 PM
Never fear! I am here to help you out of this jam.
Immediately draft a long email to send to the entire Bar Association. Apologize profusely multiple times. Blame it on the time of the month. Blame it on the 4 glasses of wine you had at lunch. Remind them that sometimes you do not act like your normal self after 4 glasses of wine, having your period, and taking several prescription pills from a client. Reassure them that you are not a druggie or a drunk, but everyone needs pills and alcohol every now and then.
Send it immediately. Speed is more important than proofreading it.
Posted by: Will | March 16, 2006 at 02:39 PM
I, for one, think you made an excellent point. It is true that this is not just a women's issue. The press is what is pushing this as a women's issue and one that drives a wedge between career and stay-at-home women. Did anyone respond to your comments?
Posted by: aspazia | March 16, 2006 at 02:54 PM
Note to self -- don't make impromptu speeches involving flailing arms and spit at bar association functions and never ever ever take advice from Will.
Posted by: The Happy Feminist | March 16, 2006 at 02:54 PM
My comment was the last one. Then we hastily adjourned.
I got a smile from a self-described "60s radical" who had earlier exhorted the younger women to "suck it up and take charge."
Posted by: The Happy Feminist | March 16, 2006 at 02:56 PM
Remember, be sure to engage brain before inserting foot into mouth.
The local woman's bar in my community has a number of men on its roster (I'm not one of them because I'm too cheap to shell out the costs of membership - I'm not a member of the local bar assc. either).
Posted by: chipmunk | March 16, 2006 at 02:58 PM
I am hurt. Very hurt.
It was an important point. It is an especially important point for judges to hear. Judges tend to live relatively isolated lives.
When they see and hear lawyers discuss things in a fair manner, then they are more likely to think about those same issues in a better way when it comes to custody and divorce cases.
Judges naturally bring to bear their personal experience. One of the advantages of having more women and minorities as judges is that a different perspective is brought to court.
Good for you for expressing something that needed to be expressed.
PS: They will probably focus their snickering on your belly button ring that you exposed.
Posted by: will | March 16, 2006 at 03:03 PM