Via Chalice Chick I became aware of an enormous Unitarian-Universalist joke site. These were the five jokes that made me happiest, and seemed most accurate:
A Unitarian-Universalist dies and, to her surprise, she discovers that there IS an afterlife after all. The Angel in charge of things thunders at her, "Because you were an UNBELIEVER and a DOUBTER and a SKEPTIC, you will suffer the torments of HELL for all ETERNITY-- which in your case consists of a place where no one will ever disagree with you EVER AGAIN."
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Arguing with a Unitarian-Universalist is like mud wrestling a pig. Pretty soon you realize the pig likes it.
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The mainstream Protestant says to the Unitarian-Universalist, "I hear that you allow all sorts of weirdos in your church -- Atheists, Buddhists, Pagans . . . "
The Unitarian-Universalist replies, "Oh yes! We allow Christians too. We're very open-minded!"
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An evangelical asks a Unitarian-Universalist, "Do you know what's going to happen when you stand in judgment before God?!?!?"
The Unitarian-Universalist nods and replies, "She's gonna have a lot of explaining to do!"
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What do you call a dead Unitarian-Universalist?
All dressed up with no place to go!
I also liked this one:
The children in a UU church school class were drawing pictures. The teacher asked one, "What are you drawing a picture of?" "I'm drawing a picture of God," was the reply. But nobody knows what God looks like," objected the teacher. "They will," said the UU child, "when I get my picture done."
CC
Posted by: Chalicechick | December 30, 2005 at 12:23 AM
I'm still trying to control myself. Great post!
Posted by: The Galloping Beaver | December 30, 2005 at 03:25 AM
Q:What do you call a United-Universalist who is knocking on a door?
A: A Jehovah's Witness with absolutely nothing to say.
Posted by: Zan | December 30, 2005 at 04:20 PM
LOL -- except I seem to have a lot to say about nothing!
Posted by: The Happy Feminist | December 30, 2005 at 04:42 PM
Unitarians are just atheists who find themselves lonely on a Sunday morning.
Posted by: ID | March 12, 2007 at 01:54 AM
Unitarians are just atheists who find themselves lonely on Sunday mornings.
Posted by: ID | March 12, 2007 at 01:55 AM
Why did the Unitarian Universalist cross the road? To support the chicken in search of it's own path [hehe]
Posted by: | April 11, 2007 at 05:31 PM
Why don't UU's sing along in church?
They're too busy reading ahead to see if they agree with the lyrics!
Posted by: Erinn | October 08, 2007 at 01:37 AM
Hi there -- first time visitor, and thanks for these. I love them!
Posted by: Shawn | November 09, 2007 at 08:53 AM
a sign at the local Unitarian Church
Bible study thursday bring your bible and a pair of scissors
Posted by: addison | June 04, 2008 at 04:00 PM