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Nicole Black

It is disturbing. I competely agree. Another surgery that I learned of recently is a labiaplasty, which is a surgery performed to reduce the size of the labia so that they are more cosmetically appealing. See, for example, this article entitled: United States: men coerce women into vaginal cosmetic surgery
(from: http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qa3693/is_200501/ai_n10297883)

You can also google that term and find some nifty before and after photos.

Makes me wish I was a man, sometimes. *sigh*

Richard Ames

As I was reading about the hymenotomy I was struck by the idea that underprivileged women could probably do it themselves with some topical Novocain and a pizza cutter for fewer than thirty bucks, so long as they didn't press too hard on the pizza cutter. Dexter Russell makes a wonderful stain-free, high-carbon steel pizza cutter with a replaceable blade (who wants to reuse the blade after something like that?). It sports a solid steel handle and 2-3/4 inch wheel blade. http://www.dexter-russell.com/RHImages/Large/18030.jpg ($20.40)

sparklegirl

Ouch!! I'll never eat pizza again....

The Happy Feminist

Thank goodness that someone is thinking about the underprivileged.

Samara

Ha! :)

"Dear Future Husband: Due to vigorous gymnastic stretching and other physical activity including a dozen years of martial arts, I have no hymen to speak of. Also, I won't be having it reconstructed, because that's stupid. I'm glad you agree. Love, Samara"

Zan

This struck me as odd that someone would want to reconstruct their hymen. THough, I am a big proponent of virginity (for both men and women until marriage) I think the reconstruction of it is dishonest to your spouse.

I was very happy to get rid of it. My wedding night was horrible. In fact it took three weeks to actually confirm the marriage. This was very upsetting to me and I actually thought I would have to get a hymenectomey. I even went to see a doctor who said I was just small and to take some time.

Because of my experience I am even a bigger proponent of waiting until you are with someone who has promised to spend the rest of his life with you and who truly loves you for who you are. My honeymoon taught me what a wonderful man I had married. He was so understanding.

BTW, I am fine now in the marital relations area of marriage and we have a wonderful time enjoying intimacy.

Ann

oof. Never again. Personally, I fail to see the value in a "gift" that consists of a) watching the woman you love try to hide her grimace of agony, b) the sentence "I'm sorry, we have to stop, it hurts too much, and c) the romantic experience of running for the Woolite and scrubbing gallons of blood out of your mother's white carpet while still naked (although if you wait until you're married this part can probably be avoided). Honestly, I think it would have been a much better experience for him too if there had been no hymen! I can't see why anyone would want that experience recreated....

Zan

There really isn't THAT much blood. However, for me it hurt bad. I don't see how young girls can give up their virginity so easily for a stupid boyfriend who probably won't be around in a year or so.

When I say stupid boyfriend I am merely refering to boys who are just interested in the physical relationship between him and his girlfriend and really are not interested in a lifetime commitment. I realize that there are many people who live with men they are not married to and they say that they are commited to eachother. I have no respect for that kind of relationship (makes no sense to me) but I wouldn't put that in the same category as a teenage boy with a very young girlfriend who is desperate to do anything to keep her boyfriend.

The Happy Feminist

Hey Zan, Maybe I am reading too much into it but I think the language you use is telling. "I don't see how young girls can give up their virginity so easily FOR a stupid boyfriend who probably won't be around in a year or so . . . " I agree that it is unfortunate for a girl to do something like that simply to please a boyfriend -- but in a lot of situations the girl is losing her virginity FOR herself.

I had sex before marriage because I wanted to experience sex. I never did it with the expectation of trying to keep a boyfriend or to please someone else. I did it on my own terms rather than FOR anyone. I never viewed the loss of virginity as something that should be done FOR anyone ever-- not for a boyfriend or my future husband.

Of course, now that I am married, I am committed to being faithful to my husband both sexually and otherwise. I don't view that as inconsistent with my premarital conduct. I have no regrets at all. I don't believe the fact that my husband and I had slept with other people before marriage has detracted from our relationship in any way.

Ann

Zan, I had to wear a pad for four days afterward. There was a lot of blood.

HF, I totally agree with you. I was in college, not that young, and definitely not desperate. No, I'm not with him any more, but we were together all through college, broke up at the beginning of our last semester senior year. And it was because I wanted to. (Fortunately it got much better after that lousy bloody first time!) I have a lot of friends who did sleep with their boyfriends before they were ready, when they were too young, because the boyfriend pressured them into it. I knew I didn't want to go that route, having watched them deal with their regret, and I decided to wait until I was in an important relationship. Which I did. There was mutual respect there, and love, and while he didn't end up being the actual love of my life I certainly don't regret it. Besides, geez, here I am at the ripe ol' age of 25 and still not married. How many years of great sex would I have had to miss out on?? ;-)

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