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westcoast2

....As a deputy D.A., I was expected to act authoritatively because of the position I held and the respect I had earned. So I acted authoritatively.

Today, as a younger lawyer no one had ever met before, I was expected to act less authoritatively because of my age and presumed lack of experience. So I instinctively acted less authoritatively.....

Interesting contrast. How did they let you know you were expected to act less authoritatively?

You may have thought you were been acting less authoritatively, did anyone else get that impression? In other words does your idea of authority conincide with theirs?

In a new environment, I have found myself becoming self-concious and somewhat 'hard' on myself even though this is not the perception of others.

For example, I have been in meetings with senior management from other areas I am not familiar with and said very little, yet when I have made a point this has been interpreted as a considered and authoritative response to the discussion, even though I perceived it to be less so.

Do you think being less authoritative is also, possibly, a self-protection mechanism, falling back into a comfort zone that hopefully stops you making an embarassing remark and a 'less than favourable' impression?

Perhaps as one becomes familiar with the surroundings, confidence increases, self-conciousness goes away and natural authority returns doesn't it? (I now believe it never really goes away, it just hides itself for a while).

As I have gained more experience, I skip the self-conciousness stage altogether and approach any group with any level of authority I wish to command. Not always though, sometimes I just fake it :)

be well
west

jo(e)

I think you've explained this well. Women and men react to the differing expecatations put upon them. That is why raising awareness -- to change those rigid gendered expectations -- is so important.

The Happy Feminist

I'm so excited to get such great thoughtful comments. I agree, westcoast2, that that one's level of confidence depends on a variety of factors in addition to other people's expectations but I believe that other people's expectations are a big part of it. And faking confidence definitely helps -- I do it all the time!

Natalie Bennett

But the problem is for women, they have to "earn" a lot more authority than men before their being authoritative is accepted.

How often have you heard a man called "pushy" or "aggressive", at least in a negative way; yet women can easily draw those labels on themselves by behaviour that in a man would go unremarked.

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maus

We're in the grips of total control of our lives if the Democrats have their way and it looks like at this time they're headed in that direction. It kind of reminds me of the union bosses/mobs that made deals behind closed doors then sprung them on the members who then had no choice. Total disregard for our Constitution and no representation of their constituant.

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