The Happy Feminist: BEING PRETTY ABOVE ALL ELSE . . .

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BEING PRETTY ABOVE ALL ELSE . . .

Ugh, more thoughts about femininity and sports. The more I think about that Ladies Against Feminism article (the one asserting that women should not play sports), the more it amazes me that real flesh-and-blood women exist who are willing to tolerate or espouse the LAF viewpoint. And I do want to understand so if any of you are reading, I would love to hear from you . . . But as I think more about those pictures in the article, the more they irritate me. Essentially, the author (who is a man by the way) is trying to convince women to refrain from sports because it will make them look ugly. And that argument, is quite frankly, insulting to women. It assumes that women care more about looking pretty than anything else.

Now, it is tempting for a Blue Stater like me to dismiss this as a crackpot attitude, but it reminded of an incident with my own father when I had just graduated from college. (Remember, I posted earlier about the fact that he is half Feminist and half Dinosaur.) I was packing an enormous duffelbag because I was planning to move to the UK and Ireland for 10 months. My father was insistently trying to persuade me that I should pack less and he was even getting a little hot under the collar about it. Finally, he said, "You know, boys find it very unattractive to see a girl lugging enormous bags." There it was -- the same argument as in the LAF article! I immediately told him that it was more important for me to have the things I need for the next 10 months than to try to look perfectly attractive to boys I don't know in the airport. (And then I admit it, I fumed silently about his comment for the whole ride to the airport.)

In a related note, Jodie notes the strangeness of anyone coming out against women's sports in a country that has such an obesity problem. In fairness, though, I think that Christian conservatives (including ultra-conservative Biblical patriarchs) believe that maintaining bodily health is important. The idea is that God entrusted our bodies (His creation) to us and it is our obligation therefore to care for our bodies. The people who come out against women's sports merely believe in lighter exercise for women (like housework, I'm not kidding!), plus healthful eating. I don't agree, but part of the purpose of this blog is to try to understand the logic.

October 17, 2005 in Feminism | Permalink

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I just read the article in full (I only had time to skim it before) and I honestly feel speechless... and pretty ticked.

I'm thinking of the fundie next door neighbors when I was a kid (the dad had worked for Falwell); all of their daughters played basketball. I'm thinking of my niece, the only girl on her peewee baseball team, specially recruited by the coach to pitch; she was their MVP this season, and from what I hear, gets on really well with the boys. I'm thinking of all the girls I knew in college who were there because of their sports scholarships. I'm thinking of me as a kid, playing a pick-up game of baseball with my brothers and their friends, winning over my much larger brother in judo, and competing in gymnastics.

Actually, he mentions that last sport: "...some of the traditionally more feminine sports like gymnastics..." um, what? What sport is he watching? It's never been feminine, unless you count the silly, cutesy little steps we had to do every once in a while for "style." It's hard, it's time-consuming, and you can get seriously injured. Plus, ever notice that gymnasts look like 10-year-old boys? That's because our bodies are SO fit that our fat is super low; as a result most gymnasts have a very late menarch and delayed development of hips and breasts (in short: puberty).

Then, this: "...the young girls are trained in sports right along with the boys. To me, this can only be degrading to the boys." Why's that? Are the girls better players than the boys? Gee whiz, that's awful. We certainly have to do everything possible to keep the boys' confidence artificially high by never letting them know a girl meets or exceeds their ability. My eyes hurt from rolling at this point.

Finally, there's that bit about how being so competitive makes it more difficult for women to be submissive in marriage. I don't really know what to say to that.

Sorry for the snark. Like you, I'm pretty sure I'll be thinking about this for a while; maybe later I'll be bit more clear headed about it. (I doubt it, but who knows?)

Posted by: Alice | October 17, 2005 at 09:25 PM

The thing is, housework isn't going to get your heartrate up enough to get the cardiac benefit, and it's probably not going to involve enough weightbearing to get the bone benefit (at least, not that I've ever noticed). And housework, unlike a sport, is B-O-R-I-N-G (you're not going to convince teenage girls that they have to do all the housework while the boys get to go play baseball). Our bodies were made to work HARD, just think of Ruth gleaning the fields with Naomi; and there's not much cause in our everyday world to work one's body that hard unless one does play a sport or go to the gym.

Maybe women considered more delicate because so many died in childbirth back in the old days (much of that due to poor hygiene, by the way; once handwashing procedures were in general use, the rate of maternal deaths dropped amazingly).

Posted by: Jodie | October 17, 2005 at 11:52 PM

I agree, Jodie. I always laugh at the celebrity mothers who say that they keep fit by chasing their toddlers around! A person needs to work up an unladylike sweat to really put her body to good use. And thanks for the Biblical examples!

Posted by: The Happy Feminist | October 18, 2005 at 12:00 AM

I agree, what isn't pretty about a woman who is athletic, healthy and fit. I'm sorry, but I find that women who are fit have better skin, and better looks all around. They don't look pale or physically sloppy. Would they encourage being unhealthy or obese before putting on some shorts and taking a jog or fast-paced walk.

It's just....I don't know.

My mom once told me that slouching wouldn't attract men...she stopped herself midsentence, apologized, and said that she should have said that it doesn't make me look happy or strong. That's the only incident I have of that...

Posted by: Jessica | October 18, 2005 at 10:19 AM

HF, I am one of those weird concervatives you would like to understand. I thought I would drop in at your blog. You seem pretty fair minded. I have spoken with you at Crystal's blog.

I don't agree that women shouldn't participate in sports. I LOVE baseball and am a die hard Red Sox fan. When I was a kid we would play baseball as a family. I only have sisters. We had a blast. I think that some of the ideas at that anti-feminist site take scripture out of context. Yes, women are to be feminine and you can be feminine playing sports and doing work traditionally done by men. When I am out stacking wood with my husband I cannot stack as fast as he can. He is a man and stronger (physically). I am stacking in a feminine way (what my body can allow.) My husband also thinks I am very feminine when hanging around in flannel. He isn't strict about me wearing only dresses and doesn't understand why so many Christians are so strict about it.

BTW, housework is very physical and so is chasing a toddler. I have one and do a lot of housework. (Not as much as I should, though.) I'm guessing that people who think that mom's don't burn calories doing their job probably don't have children. I was a med-surg nurse an I worked 12 hour shifts and usually didn't take more than one 15 min break because of the pressing job I had. I would come home exhausted at the end of the day. However, I am more tired taking care of the house and my son. Of course your HR doesn't go as high doing housework as it does while jogging. It is important to allow exercise time. I usually get my high HR when pushing my toddler up a hill during a brisk walk.

-Zan

Posted by: Zan | October 18, 2005 at 12:27 PM

I do feel sorry for male athletes who lose one-on-one to female ones, because the people who ridicule them don't understand that it's because the girl is good, not because the boy stinks.

I also shake my head at those who cheer for girls to play along with sports but then turn around and are outraged when the girl gets checked into the boards or gets her shot blocked, as if she should get special treatment. And it never seems to be the girl herSELF who believes that, but rather some watching.

Having said that, I don't understand this person's view at all. It couldn't be that the girls are actually ENJOYING themselves out on the field, could it? No, they must have been "programmed by feminists."

It reminds me of a commercial that Nike or somebody put out about seven years ago, with girls saying, "If you let me play sports," and then each predicate was some life benefit. Not one of them said the simplest thing, which is "I'LL HAVE FUN."

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Posted by: bmmg39 | October 20, 2005 at 01:49 AM

Oh where to begin with this one…

“Christian women are often ill-prepared to be Biblically obedient wives and mothers.” WHAT? Since when did sports make you ill prepared to be obedient? Most sports require one to take direction, extreme discipline etc. However, the most offensive is the requirement of women to be obedient. What century are we leaving in?

Point two: “The Bible talks about women developing a quiet and gentle spirit; I think sports fosters anything but that. They instead develop a competitive and contentious spirit that will cause them to have great difficulty in their marriages.” Oh, but it is good for men to develop those qualities, as it will be such a “joy” for women to deal with competitive and contentious monsters in marriage.

Point three: “One of the reasons so many women today enter the armed forces (and workplace) is due to their participation in sports, which have helped prepare them for that endeavor.” Really? I didn’t know that. I thought women entered the workplace and armed forces because it was something that interested them. Who knew sports CAUSED that. I can’t wait to read the research that this author so aptly forgot to mention that proves causation.

“It shouldn’t be a secret that women’s sports promote immodest attire.” Those swimsuits they wear or the short shorts when playing soccer… *gasp. Forget the men wearing those teeny, tiny Speedo’s or going shirtless or even singlets in wrestling. No, no, when it comes to immodest attire, women win hands down.

If this author wants to continue in his sexist ways, at least he could use a bit more intelligence in arguing his point. For lack of a better word, he’s an idiot.

Posted by: aisy | October 20, 2005 at 05:42 PM